#1
it's something i just finished. it doesnt really make much sense. i just put it down without much thought. tell me what you think.

(verse)
i have nothing left to say
no thoughts left to think
no more joyful days
it's a chain without a link
there's nothing i havent heard
there is no dream i havent seen
it just so happens today is the end
i saw it flashing on the tv screen

(chorus)
what is left? who is left?
nothing left. no one there.
will they care? they'll never care?
so why do i bother?
because there's someone better
i think of times of never
and no one is there

(verse)
theres no more hours without deep thought
there is no more trust put in one
so you're caught in their sick plot
and they keep going until your dead and done

(bridge)
they'll beat you down, take your throne
steal your crown, and now you've got no home!

(chorus)
what is left? who is left?
nothing left. no one there.
will they care? they'll never care?
so why do i bother?
because there's someone better
i think of times of never
and no one is there
#2
"i just put it down without much thought" - that's not a problem. Writing is an art of the heart; editing is the brain's business.

First quick and immediate comment: stay away from the rhetorical question. Only hippies, lucky poets, and experienced writers should ever tackle the rhetorical question. It's a tool that multiplies like bunnies until it's taken up half your chorus and steals your audience's attention. The rhetorical question represents your big philosophical question, that which cannot immediately be answered, but will come to you in meditation and diligent study... Which certainly doesn't fit the rest of your theme.

Now, you're playing with the hypothetical here: "what if..." and "if this, then that". That means you're in luck! The hypothetical lyric requires you to establish a strong hypothesis. After all, that's where the adjective "hypothetical" comes from... So! I'm getting this nebulous picture of angst, which needs to be formed into something impressive. You're biggest problem is that, in this sort of piece, you need to blend intelligence with emotion. As in all lyrics, the audience needs to attach to what you're staying on the level of mood, feeling what you feel. Also, however, you need to provide the opportunity for the audience to attach on a more cerebral level - that is, you're feeding us a possibility (a bundle of ideas that expand over a certain space with a certain passage of time, containing a certain number of events). Teach us the parameters and we'll figure out the rest. But, be artistic about it!

So, consider the kind of imagery you want to use. Diction will determine the tone of the hypothesis, so take that into consideration. And, of course, if you get stuck, give it a while or try something new. Don't be afraid to screw up, considering that you can always edit a piece of writing.