#1
This is the first song I wrote and I would appreciate any comments and constructive criticism whatsoever I don't take offence easily.

Why dont't I get a goodbye
Dont I matter at all
not a fleeting glance
just stare at the wall

It's just me, It's just me, It's just me

Never seen
hiding behind your hours
an excuse to escape from what

It's just me, It's just me, It's just me

I always
meet your silent distain
never proud nor inspiring
not a lead to greater things
Maybe,

It's just me, It's just me, It's just me

When we'e alone
the silence is filled
with blaring thoughts
as you read
about people more interesting
all alone

It's just me, It's just me, It's just me

you will always find something
and so will I
to not talk about

It's not just me, It's not just me, It's not just me
Last edited by Lord Hibernus at Jul 4, 2006,
#2
cant judge a song by the lyrics, and you need to be confident about your own songs, dont ask people if your on the right lines.
#3
Is that a no? Come on I need a comment or I'll get embarrassed and delete it.
Last edited by Lord Hibernus at Jul 3, 2006,
#4
Quote by Lord Hibernus

When we'e alone
the silence is filled
with blaring thoughts
as you read
about people more interesting
all alone


i really like this part. overall the song has a good concept that everyone can relate too. my only gripe is the "it's just me" is a little repeative. but even that is me nitpicking. nice job. looking forward to seeing some more stuff.
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint
#5
Thank alot for the reply I wasn't going to write any more songs but that comment was very reassuring. By the way I just put music onto the song and it sounds great. I might put up a tab later.
#7
It's just me is the corus a very short one but a corus none the less. Should I make it longer?
#8
thanks for the crit on my song
the overall idea is kinda vague, but that's not a bad thing. yes, you need a longer chorus. "it's just me" over and over again will get annoying and hurt the song. 8 out of 10.
B.C. RICH
#9
I'll change the corus but I don't agree about it being vague in fact the idea is quite obvious at the end i.e the inexplicable gap that forms between two people and the sadness it causes.