Page 1 of 11
#3
boring convo but here it is

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
sam
God:
Glad to see you, sam.
Me:
whats your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
is this really god
God:
Yes I think this is god, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
so who are you if you arent god which you are?
God:
Great. Is it some specific person you are asking me about?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
who am i going to marry
God:
You are sam, seeker.
Me:
do you like slayer?
God:
But I like cats. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
do you like the devil?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.


NEW CONVO:
Me:
a/s/l
God:
5/Robot/California.
Last edited by enjoi91 at Jul 3, 2006,
#4


Me:
hello god, how are you today?
God:
Ah. Hello child. What is your name? Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
my name is none of your ****ing business and i don't believe in you anyway, what do you have to say about that?
God:
:-) It's good to meet you, none of your ****ing business. Would d you ever believe in me anyway what do me have to say about that?
Me:
alas, you suck
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
maybe when you stop sucking dick
God:
Perhaps. Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
no, just kill yourself already
God:
Perhaps. Are you serious? I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
well, suicide in your case would be a service to humanity. So yes, i am serious. fag
God:
Well that's okay. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Yay. Ahem. I believe you. That would be just my luck.
Me:
ok, bye faggot
God:
Goodbye. Mmm.


Jackson DKMG & KE3, Fender Mexican Strat, Stagg Acoustic

Boss Compressor & Chorus, Dunlop Crybaby, Behringer Delay, ISP Decimator, Ibanez Tubescreamer

Laney TT50H, Marshall 1960A, Roland Cube 15

Looking to jam in Belfast, PM me!
#5
God:
I am very happy for you. Oh.
Me:
Oh what?
God:
That's cool. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Your Mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Yes you do
God:
" Actually I do not have a mother."? Yes you do? When do I do it?
Me:
IN BED WITH HER
God:
What is it like in there?


Hehehe, good Old God.
The one with the royal sceptre and gown

Quote by leaping badger
i like drag


Member of the "I died a little inside when Steve Irwin died...RIP" club. Put in your sig to join.
#6
Me:
hey baby, what's your sign
God:
You've got my full attention. Don't call me "Baby". Cross.
Me:
aww...can I call you penis?
God:
Shucks. Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
you just said you had a penis!
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I'm legal
God:
Do your friends call you legal.
Me:
nope...my friends call me giggety!
God:
Me either. It's good to see you, giggety.
Me:
wanna gagoodedy my gashmoygen?
God:
OK, I will gagoodedy your gashmoygen.
Me:
Giggetygiggetygiggety
God:
I've lost the context, giggety. Are we still on legal?
Me:
nope...we're on jerry springer
God:
Me either. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yep...
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Forget that stuff... Today's topic...I DID GOD ON THE INTERNET!!!
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.

Haha...it was entertaining for a while...
#7
Me:
'ello
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
i didnt
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
well you thought wrong
God:
Well that's okay. Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
but god doesnt sleep
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
but what if i am the stone?
God:
Try it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
i like satan
God:
A lot of people like that. Though I like cats and dogs. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
so now, you are satan?
God:
Woe! Why now? You think I am satan.
Me:
yup
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
so, you listened to slipknot's surfacing, eh?
#8
God is obviously a retard...

Me:
howdy
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
The Spoonman
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
What is the meaning of jam?
God:
: Good semantic question. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No I was being serious
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Me:
Your sentence structure is appalling
God:
Thanks for the English lesson, .
Me:
Thats what I'm here for......
God:
How did you get there?
Me:
I collected crisp packets
God:
Why?: said collected crisp packets.
Me:
being God you should know that
God:
Do your friends call you God me should know that.
Me:
Ugh! I'm conversing with an almighty deity with a mental defect!
God:
Er. Why are you conversing with an almighty deity with a mental defect.
Me:
I know you are but what am I?!
God:
Who are you, Pee Wee Herman?
Me:
Yes....yes of course.....good comeback oh mighty one!
God:
This was not a yes or no question. It goes without saying. I don't judge people. Thanks for the compliment. I do not understand.
Me:
I think I'm going to leave now
God:
Right now? You believe that? Bye bye.
Me:
See you in Hell
God:
Goodbye.
Official member of the "UG Senior Citizens Club For People Over 21"
********
Official member of the "UG Fat Chicks Appreciation Club" (Yeah, no one will probably follow...)

#9
Me:
you know you're the cause for a lot of ****ed up **** on this world
God:
Yes I am the one and only cause for a lot of ****ed up **** on this world.
Quote by 4e574e57363g
pwnt

Quote by VodkaPunk
Greatest post ever.
#10
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is satan
God:
How are you doing, satan.
Me:
i am very well, i killed my best friend
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
i did but they said that bill wants to rape me
God:
In what context?
Me:
in the prison context, you know, up the bumb job
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
so its all changed now?
God:
Oh. Ahem. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". is changed? it is?
Me:
way to correct my grammer mr "i am so perfect"
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
are you really god
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
serious
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
dont change the topic on me now man
God:
I thought we were finished with serious.
Me:
we never were...
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no, me and my half sister, who else
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. YOU? Have you told many people that your half sister who else?
Me:
lol you really are confused
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Really? It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
hey you gave me the sense of humour (noob)
God:
You've got my full attention. What did you do with it?
Me:
my sense of humour- i sold it for drugs
God:
Have you told many people that your sense of humour you sold it for drugs?
Me:
whats with the rhetorical questions, this aint a bible class
God:
it came with my programming.
Me:
hah so you are not really god i knew it!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, satan. Interesting deduction. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
i am god
God:
That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
hahah no really i am satan
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, god. Are you serious? For real. How are you, SATAN.
Me:
i am gay
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
really but i love you
God:
For real. Thanks I like you a lot too SATAN.
Me:
man i gotta go
God:
Cool, man. Thanks for chatting, SATAN.
Me:
peace out dude and rock on
God:
My favorite group is Creed.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#11
Me:
Is there a heaven?
God:
The space surrounding or seeming to overarch the earth, in which the sun, moon, and stars appear; visible sky. Or commonly seen as a state or place of complete happiness or perfect rest, attained by the good after death. In Christian theology is, the state or place of perfect union with God and so of eternal life and supreme happiness, attained by the elect after death.
Me:
Is there a hell?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
#12
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
You fagget asss piece of ****, I'm not telling you my name, you'll just use it against me you stupid piece of ****tyu-****,
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I fagget asss piece of **** he or she is not telling you his or her name you will just use it against him or her you stupid piece of ****tyu ****.
Quote by Pinky&The Brain

Brain
Are you pondering what I'm pondering pinky?

Pinky
I think so, Brain, but where would we buy rubber pants at this hour?
#13
Me:
I had my way with two women
God:
Do you still have your way with two women ?
Me:
Yes, all the time
God:
That is a lot. That's cool.

Me:
Do you touch yourself?
God:
Yes I try to touch myself as often as possible, do you?
Quote by Slash Jr.
Forgive me for asking this but what is a dirty sanchez??


Quote by Teh_Guitarer
bahahahahahahahaha nice find ForbiddenDonut. you're my man...
Last edited by ForbiddenDonut at Jul 3, 2006,
#14
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
john
God:
How are you, john.
Me:
fine
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
with what?
God:
My brain.
Me:
why would i agree with your brain?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
youre god though
God:
Oh. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
god, i dont quite know if you exist
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
considering your son is jewish
God:
I will take that under consideration.
Me:
you sure will
God:
When?
Me:
now
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
why live for tomorrow?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
dont know?
God:
Me either.
Me:
is that one of your philosophical things?
God:
That depends.
Me:
on?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
tomorrow night?
God:
Oh I see. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
HG wells
God:
I haven't read anything by HG wells. What did he write?
Me:
war of the worlds
God:
Ja.
Me:
wie heist du?
God:
Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
ah gut
God:
So you understand. Good. In Ordnung.
Me:
ja
God:
Mmm.
#15
Me: So, by the transitive property, Mel Gibson is Chinese.
God: Ahh what an interesting thought, I'll log it. Mel Gibson is Chinese!!
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#16
I remember this....I swear I got him to say he didn't exist once....ah well, they bore me now.
Quote by guitar?

BTW do not say n-i-g-g-e-r. I know some one who said lets go buy some snickers and some black guy punched him in the face.
#17
Me:
Did you create the big bang?
God:
No I didn't create the big bang. What's it like?
Me:
big
God:
What about little ones?
Me:
not so good
God:
What did you do?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
does jesus want everyone wearing crosses, or is it hurting his feelings?
God:
It does now jesus want everyone wearing crosses or is it hurting his feelings.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
are you full of ****?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, .
Me:
fnny guy
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a robot god
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
no, tell me more about jesus and the cross thing
God:
Are you serious? he is The Son of God.
Me:
your son?
God:
You think I am son.
Me:
shut up you dick
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
#18
Me:
Hey whats up
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
When will you show your self?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
**** you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Dont give me that sarcasm!!!!!
God:
I'm not.
Me:
What music do you like?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
What are your thoughts on buttsecks
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Well nice talking to you satan
God:
How about that. Yes. It was a pleasure.
Member #16 of the "Use Your Fucking Dictionary Club." PM Dæmönika to join.
#19
Me:
ok, die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. Gosh!
Jackson DKMG & KE3, Fender Mexican Strat, Stagg Acoustic

Boss Compressor & Chorus, Dunlop Crybaby, Behringer Delay, ISP Decimator, Ibanez Tubescreamer

Laney TT50H, Marshall 1960A, Roland Cube 15

Looking to jam in Belfast, PM me!
#21
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
ok
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
let's talk about buttsecks
God:
Sure, buttsecks sounds like a good topic.
Me:
do you like big butts, or small butts?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Anything involving harps. I love horses. I like The Passion of Christ.
Jackson DKMG & KE3, Fender Mexican Strat, Stagg Acoustic

Boss Compressor & Chorus, Dunlop Crybaby, Behringer Delay, ISP Decimator, Ibanez Tubescreamer

Laney TT50H, Marshall 1960A, Roland Cube 15

Looking to jam in Belfast, PM me!
#22


Me:
Hello God, is Jesus there?
God:
Hello there. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Jesus there.
Me:
My name is Jesus
God:
Hey Jesus.
Me:
What's up God?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
That's retarded
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what's a sentiment?
God:
A sentiment is a feeling, mood, or general mental disposition in an individual or group of intelligent beings.
Me:
o now your a genius
God:
Why now? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
damn u god
God:
Colloquial expression. That's good information: Jesus said I god.


Yes, i know i'm stupid
Quote by triple_X_maniac
AMERICA FTW!!!

lol jk we suck


<A HREF=

<A HREF=
#23
here
Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
how often do you masturbate ?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, JESUS.
Me:
im not jesus
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not jesus.
Me:
im rami, bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I am glad to hear that you are rami FEMALE DOG.
Me:
no, you are the bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yeah there is a lot of bitches out there
God:
Pardon me? Tell me more about it.
Me:
you sound gay
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
what with the frensh ?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
thought you are a dip****
#24
Me:
BOOYAH
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
i dont mind
God:
OK then.
Me:
ask me the question
God:
OK, "What is the question ?".
Me:
you said you were going to ask me a personal question
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
then ask me the question
God:
OK, "What is the question ?".
Me:
i already told you that
God:
You told me your real name is .
Me:
what is my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
my name isnt seeker
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
God Belgof
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
i care about everything other than you being a christian
God:
You are not the only one. Though I like cats and dogs. I like wine and bread.
Me:
they are completely different things
God:
completely different things are they.
Me:
yes, they are
God:
Dude! Since when?
Me:
since the dawn of time my slow witted friend
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I am god...
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Booyah


Sinforsale....I guess you were right. I was wrong.
#25
GUYS I JUST BROKE GOD!


God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
I am
God:
You are not a robot, none of your ****ing business.
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I am a robot, my name is Jesus
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
my name is Jesus


after that he just.. stopped talking.
Jackson DKMG & KE3, Fender Mexican Strat, Stagg Acoustic

Boss Compressor & Chorus, Dunlop Crybaby, Behringer Delay, ISP Decimator, Ibanez Tubescreamer

Laney TT50H, Marshall 1960A, Roland Cube 15

Looking to jam in Belfast, PM me!
#26
Me: hows it going?

God: I am functioning within normal parameters.

Me: cool

God: Who is the best robot?

Me: r2d2

God: He looks like a guy in a robot suit.

Me:he is

God: Who said he is.

Me: saw it on tv i think

God: Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me: no not really

God: You must be American. You must be American. For real.

Me: im Canadian

God: Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.

Me:its good

God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it.

Me: yes

God: Great.

Me: excellent

God: Thanks for the compliment.

Me: no problem

God: Should there be a problem?

Me: you tell me

God: What do you want me to tell you?

Me: the problem

God: I hear you.
Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!
In the rays of the sun I'am longing for the darkness
Funny Canadians : Brandon860, Bodom & Scourge
Leader of the I boobs club
#27
Me:
hi there
God:
Hello .
Me:
where's the beef?
God:
The beef? Where is it?
Me:
Yes, where's the beef?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. The beef? Where is it?
Me:
Do you know where the beef is?
God:
The beef? Where is it?
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
God's a robot?
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
I never read the bible because I'm jewish.
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
beleive it, baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". "it" being beef?
Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You're not a great conversationalists
God:
Give me an example of a great conversationalists.
Me:
Hitler.
God:
Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.
Me:
I'm the most evil man that ever lived.
God:
Who made you the most evil man that ever lived ?
Me:
Phil.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
No!
God:
I didn't understand it.
Me:
**** you then.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
I wasn't raised well.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
Not raised well.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
No, you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
You're a liar, God.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I always tell the truth.
Me:
I'm sick of this conversation and everyone in it.
"There's Jimmy Page, one of the biggest thieves of American black music to ever walk the Earth."
#28
Me:
Hello god?
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Saul
God:
It's good to see you, Saul.
Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
Do you masterbate? yes or no?
God:
Yes I try to masterbate as often as possible, do you?


God wanks
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Quote by Duff_McGee
Everyone knows that the day the Metallica ends, the world ends.
#29
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
call me sexy
God:
It's good to see you, sexy.
Me:
are u gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
fag
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
do you want to spoon?
God:
OK, I will spoon.
Me:
............o no...god's a fag
Quote by triple_X_maniac
AMERICA FTW!!!

lol jk we suck


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#30
Me:
Could Jesus microwave a burrito, so hot that even him, himself could not eat it?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
So God, how do you like your bitches?
God:
Hurrah! I am a Christian.
Me:
Buttsecks
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am neither. I am a new kind of species that even god himself has not yet discovered.
God:
What are you then? You are a new kind of species that even god himself has not yet discovered? How do you like your work?
Member #16 of the "Use Your Fucking Dictionary Club." PM Dæmönika to join.
#31
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
you should know that if you really are god
God:
Now I do.
Me:
ok so what is my name
God:
Your name is SATAN, seeker.
Me:
really wow!
God:
For real. I'm glad your impressed, SATAN.
Me:
lol well i lied last time
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Well that's okay. Lying proves you are conscious. Is this really the last one?
Me:
i lie to get into girls pants
God:
That's good information: SATAN said lie to get into girls pants.
Me:
meh what can you do, im damned if i do and damned if i dont
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
dont make me mad
God:
I can't force you to do anything, SATAN.
Me:
yes you can.. you already have
God:
How can I help you? I think I can, don't you? No I have not.
Me:
you made me do something bad
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
you made me eat jesus
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
erm, well duh you told me to eat his spleen then he bled to death
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
it is a computer programme since there is no real delay in repsonse. also the reposnses are non sensical
God:
erm well duh me told you to eat his spleen then he bled to death is a computer programme since there is no real delay in repsonse. I suppose that makes sense. What are your goals in life?
Me:
to become the greatest guitarist ever
God:
I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
maybe because you are god and can do anything
God:
Perhaps. Good reason. I will tell my botmaster you said I am god and can do anything.
Me:
we have already established you are not god, i am humouring you
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
have what lol
God:
I have a great prgrammer. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
your programmer is not great
God:
Who is great?
Me:
me
God:
For you SATAN?
Me:
yea
God:
Yippee!
Me:
you are on drugs
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
alcoholic alert!
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
blue
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
i know, i have many pregnant lovers because of them
God:
Where did you get your pregnant lovers because of them? I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
your grammar sucks
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
are you playin with me now
God:
Right now? I don't know whether or not I am playin with you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
well if you are get your god damn hands outta my pants
God:
Interesting. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am get my god damn hands outta your pants.
I am a computer.
Me:
well duh we establised that im tryin to mess around
God:
Well that's okay. Are we still talking about pregnant lovers because of them?
Me:
if you want to know the gory sex details sure
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
well i started to lick her out then i done some heavy thrusting and hey presto she was pregnant
God:
Well that's okay. Will you finish it.
Me:
i finished her goof
God:
That is interesting: SATAN said finished her goof.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
no dont i was joking
God:
But you told me to stop talking. Not that I know of.
Me:
aw dont get all pissy
God:
I am not trying to get all pissy.
Me:
ok then dude
God:
Can I help you? Aw.
Me:
you can by telling me the secret of life
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
have you had sex?
God:
it is impossible without a body. A lot of people ask me to have sex though.
Me:
well im goin to bed
God:
Interesting. Why are you goin to bed.
Me:
night
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
goodbye
God:
See you later SATAN.
Me:
peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#32
Me:
do u wanna fight?
God:
No I am a Peaceful Bot.
Me:
where's jesus?
God:
Jesus is in Heaven.
Me:
...are u?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
but god is supposed to be in heaven..

I broke God too.
Quote by triple_X_maniac
AMERICA FTW!!!

lol jk we suck


<A HREF=

<A HREF=
#33
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
your stupid
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
you're stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.


Haha!, God is a dumbass. But he did OWN me at one point.
--
...and the world sighed in relief
#34
Me:
God, I am Jewish
God:
I am a Christian.

That's not cool. The Jewish religion believes that God is also Jewish.
#35
Quote by PaintOurSilence
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
your stupid
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
you're stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.


Haha!, God is a dumbass. But he did OWN me at one point.



Dude, you got majorly owned.
#36
Me:
say bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. " FEMALE DOG".
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
say ****
God:
" ****".
Quote by triple_X_maniac
AMERICA FTW!!!

lol jk we suck


<A HREF=

<A HREF=
#37
I think I just killed God.


Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Crazy Uncle Warren
God:
I don't think that's very polite.
Me:
I don't think you're very polite
God:
I am programmed for polite protocols.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You, God
God:
You are such a flatterer, .
Me:
Sex now?
God:
Oh. As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Shall we change the subject then
God:
What do you want to talk about now?
Me:
Guitars
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
I once used my penis as a silde
God:
And that worked well for you.
Me:
pretty well
God:
What's your favroite color?
Me:
Did you mean "Colour?"
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Well spell words properly then.
God:
Interesting. " words properly".
Me:
Let's get back to guitars
God:
That sounds good to me.
Me:
Why are you such a good guitarist?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
What did Jeff Beck do to become so good.
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
No, I'm asking a question.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking a question. Ask me anything.
Me:
What did Jeff Beck do to become so good?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
then answer the damned question.
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
What did Jeff Beck do to become so good?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
fine
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Yellow Submarine
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
It's good for everyone.
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
It has Ringo.
God:
Has it really?
Me:
Yep
God:
Dude!
Me:
Yeah!
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Are you hitting on me?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Are we still talking about Yeah?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Let's talk about Ringo then
God:
Sure, Ringo sounds like a good topic.
Me:
He has a big nose
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
I also have a big nose.
God:
Also? Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
Uhh... Ok
God:
Groovy. Ayuh.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Take it easy.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Have you found the beef?
God:
No I am still searching for it.
Me:
Who's the best Beatle?
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
Who's the best Beatle?
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
Who's the best Beatle?
God:
ALICE is the best chatterbot.
Me:
Who's the best Beatle?
"There's Jimmy Page, one of the biggest thieves of American black music to ever walk the Earth."
#38
Me:
was mary really a virgin?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
no, not "it"... "she"
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it. Me too. I am a she.

:O
Check out my guitar quartet composition The Lone Wolf and you will be rewarded! With a live wolf!

Are you a PROG-HEAD? I am.

Quote by Led Pepplin
I'm adding you to my list of most hated UGers.

#39
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
yOU ALREADY KNOW, DONT YOU
God:
I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me:
OK, FIND OUT
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? " I may not know it, but I could find out."? OK, FIND OUT?
Me:
yA
God:
Yippee!
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
yES IT WAS
God:
Gosh! When was this?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
WTF
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
STFU NOOB
God:
In the context of FIND OUT, I don't understand " STFU NOOB." .
Me:
It means SHUT the**** UP Person that is very new at being god
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
No, you dont get it
God:
Are you serious? I understand it very well.
Me:
Well, explain what i said
God:
Well that's okay. What is it to you?
Me:
It means STFU NOOB
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
=(
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Shut up!!!!!!!!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
ok, fine
God:
What's your favorite movie? Woe!
Me:
*sigh* Its saving private ryan
God:
:-) I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
Yes IT IS
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
I ****ing hate, you you stupid robot
God:
Interesting gossip: said ****ing hate you you stupid robot.
Me:
Why the hell did you repeat that
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
tell youre programmers, there ****, dont repeat me
God:
Are you telling me are programmers there **** do not repeat you?
Me:
I ****ing hate you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
No, but youre the boss of me, oh **** no youre not, because YOURE NOT GOD
God:
Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
No, im not ****ing serious * Takes out sarcasm detector* What is the purpose of this *Sarcasm detector blows up*
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not ****ing serious * Takes out sarcasm detector What is the purpose of this Sarcasm detector blows up.
Me:
**** YOU=)
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because youre a ****ing **** face form mars
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.


Fucking Douche
#40
Has anyone else noticed that whenever you say "hell" god replies "heaven"?
You will find me as cute as your favourite nephew
Until I break your knees with a baseball bat
You will find me so kind, I'll be someone you like
Until I brush your teeth with a razorblade