#1
This is still a very rough draft. But I want to know what ya'll think of it so far. It isn't supposed to be a song or anything. Just thoughts.

The Concept of Reality Vs. Dream

I stand on this pier at the edge of the world,
Looking out into a burning sea of relentless gases,
I ask myself all those centuries old questions,
And as I come to realize what we're here for...
My thoughts pass into oblivion.

I blink and see wonderous things,
Stars spread across the vaulting black sky,
And I am weightless!
Bound to nothing but my soul!
Free from the abstract ideas that held me to the ground.

Now preach to me a new philosophy,
For I have broken all the rules,
I have trancended all that I was taught,
I no longer stare out windows,
Dreaming of loves fulfilled,
Or of fame, recognition, and respet.

There is no more disillusionment,
I have found my reality.
Last edited by As_I_Lay_Dying5 at Jul 9, 2006,
#2
Oh my God, this piece was awesome. No joke, this was one of the best Iread on this forum. Keep it up.

Crit mine please

Vermin
#4
if this is a hardcore song, i can already see this being great,

And as I come to realize what we're here for...
My thoughts thoughts pass into oblivion.

i like it, i dont see anything you ned to change, crit mine? "It Is In The Fireplace" you'l see it on the thread page
#5
I didn't really intend this to go with music. Although our singer does want to use it. And our band cover all ends of the musical spectrum. So if I do put it to music the two will compliment each other. I do have the rhythm in my head. I know that doesn't help you much, sorry.
#6
holy ****. awesome. freakin awesome. it's very original, it flows well,and it creates a visual image. 10/10.
B.C. RICH
#8
i read the title to this song and i had to come check it out.

"I blink and see wonderous things,
Stars spread across the vaulting black sky,
And I am weightless!
Bound to nothing but my soul!
Free from the abstract ideas that held me to the ground."

i love that!
When this whole thing started I was a name.
Now there's a definition and a reason.
The more I expect the harder things are.
Jesus and the Sharp Electric Star.

Anthony Green
#11
it's a really cool song...

And I ask myself all those centuries old questions,
And as I come to realize what we're here for...
My thoughts thoughts pass into oblivion.

Best lyrics ever read.. Don't think there's anything needs changing man...just leave it this way...!
#12
beauitful man,
a wise man once told me:
"and above else, there only is"

its humbling to explore the world of reality and its true nature

but i do belive that the world that someone goes into while day dreaming
is a world of endless creative insperation
#13
wow, amazing use of words. I can't even, wow. Good job man, write more like that.
"The Day that I die is the day that I shut my mouth and put down my guitar" - Bradley Nowell of Sublime

R.I.P- 1996
#14
Wow. Unexpected from someone with such a ****ty band in their username. This is really good. It's too the point so it's not ambigious in anyway, but it's good because of that. Good. This is good. I'm impressed. It reminds me of maudlin of the Well which is like my favorite band ever besides the Pixies. So good good good good good.

This is real good.