#1
as the title infers, this is a work in progress.
i think it's pretty cool, but i'm probably wrong.
tell me what you think of it, and possibly help me
figure out what to do to finish it and stuff, kay?
are there too many weird time signatures?
are there some really horrible parts in it?
just. help me with this kind of stuff, okayyy?
and possibly tell me what kind of stuff i should
add to go later on in the song or whatever.
Attachments:
FALL..zip

I just want to sleep forever.


#2
that was really good i thought, now u need to post actual guitar playing, i wanna hear it like that...lol, good job dude.
Officer Nole07 of the U.G.P.D


Quote by rockybo
Honestly, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. So some moron put evidence of me exposing her stupidity in her signature, why should I care?
#3
Dont like Bar 25. The let ring on the chords adds too much dissonance, and makes the part seem very cluttered.

Bar 43, the top staff. The 676 chord sound horrible. I think changing it to 777 sounds better.

That first chord reminds me of the intro to an Underoath song. "Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door" or something along those lines. Dunno if you'll enjoy that fact, but I like it.

Also on Bar 43, I dont like the harmonzing there. It doesnt fit with the other stuff.

Bar 42 just sounds simply amazing. I love that.

Other than the aforementioned, I think what you have sounds good.
As for where to go, I added some stuff. I've mostly just organized things (labled chorus, verse, etc) to how I would put them. You may have different thoughts.

Also, I added another verse after the last chorus, and used the same harmonizing as you. It's a verse you used earlier in the song, but I thought it should be reintroduced and with some harmony.

Hope I helped atleast a little.
Attachments:
FALL..zip
Spiral Out
#4
yah, the only bad part was that the chords rang out a little too much, but other than that, great song, ive never heard a song that had 7/8 time in it, so that was cool, it really stood out, like it doesnt sound like anything out there, cool song, i cant wait to hear it finished!
#5
Quote by HumanitysDeath
Dont like Bar 25. The let ring on the chords adds too much dissonance, and makes the part seem very cluttered.

Bar 43, the top staff. The 676 chord sound horrible. I think changing it to 777 sounds better.

That first chord reminds me of the intro to an Underoath song. "Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door" or something along those lines. Dunno if you'll enjoy that fact, but I like it.

Also on Bar 43, I dont like the harmonzing there. It doesnt fit with the other stuff.

Bar 42 just sounds simply amazing. I love that.

Other than the aforementioned, I think what you have sounds good.
As for where to go, I added some stuff. I've mostly just organized things (labled chorus, verse, etc) to how I would put them. You may have different thoughts.

Also, I added another verse after the last chorus, and used the same harmonizing as you. It's a verse you used earlier in the song, but I thought it should be reintroduced and with some harmony.

Hope I helped atleast a little.

thanks; i changed it and used your ideasss.

EDIT: i added more to ittt.
EDIT AGAIN: i actually finished it...
Attachments:
FALL..zip

I just want to sleep forever.


Last edited by Grovermans at Jul 5, 2006,
#7
I liked it, but it was a little reptitive, you would repeat a lead twice then have a repeat sign it just got annoying, but i liked it
Quote by unfathomable_bo
Well it isnt hard to bend a string that has the tension of a piece of well cooked spaghetti, especially when you have hands like goalkeeper gloves


My songs: (more to come) (C4C's)
Screams fell silent underneath the black sun
#8
those 2 sharps at the end of the song (in the first repeat of the last movement) sound better if they're moved up a fret to an in key note. Just thought I'd give my two cents.

Love you Kyle...I mean it, I love it! Excellent work once again.
Washburn WI66 Pro E Celtic Cross (1 of 48!)
Washburn WI66 Pro Honeyburst
Takamine EG334SC Acoustic-Electric
Peavey XXX 120W All Tube Half Stack
Line6 MM4/FM4/DL4
Boss NS2
Vox Snakecharmer Compressor
Digitech XP100 Whammy Wah
#9
are there too many weird time signatures?

Hell no! You seem to really understand how to use metic modulation. Obviously you should only use metric modulation if the music calls for it, but it seems to me that you're not guilty of using metric modulation gratuitously, if you're worried about that. If it weren't for those atypical key signatures, I don't think your music would be as interesting to listen to. So keep it up!
#10
I like the weird time changes, which is unusual because usually when I see weird time signatures, it's in band music and I have to play it. Anyway, it keeps you on your toes.

I like the main riff, the one that the song starts out with.

The guitar 2 part in bars 17-34 should be brought out more, I think, and make it into sort of a solo. Right now, it's drowned out by the guitar 1.

I'd also like to see it end better. Right now, it just kind of ...

You get the idea.

Overall, very interesting song. I like.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=391099
METAR KTIK 040043Z COR RMK TORNADO 1W MOV NE. EVACUATING STATION
Last edited by aprescott_27 at Jul 13, 2006,
#11
As the rest said this wasn't your best work, but its still better than a lot of stuff on here. In some parts it just felt a little to random for me, but as usual your harmonies are right on. This one didn't make me go "wow" like a lot of your stuff does, but it is still good. Anyways, if you could check out my latest, called Steel Rain, the link is in the sig.