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#1
All i really care is what people think of it and if you hate it you can all go to hell


YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yeah

10 FUKIN YEARS
OF SERVING IN YOUR NAME
ALL THIS TIME IV DELT WITH THE PAIN
THIS AIN'T THE FIRST TIME
IVE SEEN HIM BEFORE
THE LAST TIME
IT WAS HIS BLOOD ON MY DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chorus
THIS IS THE TIME
THE RIGHT I HAVE
TO DEFEND WHAT IS MINE!!!!!!
IV NEVER LEFT THE DAY
THAT FATEFUL DAY
THE ONE I MANAGED TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART
IV STILL GOT 80 REASONS TO KILL YOU

verse 2
I FOUND THE TIME
TO LOVE WHAT YOU ARE
AND WHAT YOU'LL BE
WERE'S THE SENSE OF LOVE
FOR ME I KNOW
I THROW IT RIGHT BACK IN YOUR FACE
YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


verse 3
UNLOYAL,SO FAITHLESS
I'LL EAT ALL YOUR LIES!!!!!!!
THROW IT UP, AND SIT IT IN YOUR LAP
FUK YOU I NEVER LOVED YOU BEFORE
STUCK UP COW
I'LL BEAT YOU IF I NEED TO
CHEAT ON ME I'LL GIVE YOU HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#2
"if you hate it you can all go to hell" I guess I'm going to hell. hmm...
this song is terrible. there is no other way to describe it. unfiltered, unoriginal, cliche hate. that's all I see this song as. calm down, rewrite this song, and try again. 1 out of 10.
B.C. RICH
#3
Well I guess I can just go to hell then this is the most random amount of ridiculous sentences thrown into a song I've ever seen. You seemingly jump from one subject to another sometimes mid sentence use cliches you probably stole off korn and there is no sence of personaility whatsoever, the worst song I have had the misfortune to read.
#5
Hey b.c.rich rules you posted at the time I was writing a reply so we wrote the same thing! By the way a still hate this song with a passion.
#7
Why don't ya just say sorry mate don't like like the the last guy just went straight to the point
#12
my god I could tell it was bad form the use of caps lock, but congratulations you maade it worse than I could possibly imagine. and how can you only care what people think of it if you dont want anyone to say they hate it, thats not called asking for crits thats fishing for compliments
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.
#13
Quote by dnjoe
my god I could tell it was bad form the use of caps lock, but congratulations you maade it worse than I could possibly imagine. and how can you only care what people think of it if you dont want anyone to say they hate it, thats not called asking for crits thats fishing for compliments


so very true.
B.C. RICH
#14
Quote by Morrison999
Fine then i'll take it off the site you freaks do somethin useful with your time


I dont like being called a freak just beacause I hate your crappy song.
#15
morrison999, if you post a song, it will be critted. that's the point. and if you want to take it off the site, don't just sit there and talk about it. do it.
B.C. RICH
#17
You like capslock don't you?

This song sucked shit by the way. Sorry.
When I heard smoking would kill me, I bought shares in Dunhill and Marlboro - Thomas Geraghty

If we don't change it, nothing will fucking change.
#18
I actually found it both witty and passionate. Both in style and meaning, it was probably the best thing I've ever read on this site. Someone nominate this for song of the week.
#19
Could be improved a lot.
and what's with the caps?
Originally Posted by jajp001
White man came (Cumming noise)
Across the sea (Wow!!!)
Brought us pain (Right in the eye, it was)
And misery ( Points to pregnant sister)
Run to the hills, iron maiden
#20
Quote by variance
I actually found it both witty and passionate. Both in style and meaning, it was probably the best thing I've ever read on this site. Someone nominate this for song of the week.


I really hope that was sarcasm...
#21
Quote by gunsnspaghetti
Could be improved a lot.
and what's with the caps?


The capital letters highlight the well-thought out emotion that runs rampant in this piece. God damn, get off this guy's grill. He is brilliant, you are all just jealous.
#22
Quote by variance
I actually found it both witty and passionate. Both in style and meaning, it was probably the best thing I've ever read on this site. Someone nominate this for song of the week.


I think I can actually SMELL the sarcasm...
B.C. RICH
#23
Quote by variance
The capital letters highlight the well-thought out emotion that runs rampant in this piece. God damn, get off this guy's grill. He is brilliant, you are all just jealous.


Haha yeah....

But seriously dude, the song wasn't very good. Although I think that if you listen to more music (good music), and keep practising, you'll improve. Just practise... a lot.

Originally posted by Camakazie:

On my gravestone i want jesus and satan fighting with lightsabers. Or a big hand pointing to the grave next to me saying "I'm with stupid"


Superman of the UG heroes and villans club, P.M. josh999x to join
#25
this song blows, i wrote songs like that in 6th grade for laughs with my friend in study hall
#26
fox69, he's the one that should be sorry.
I kinda just spammed before so i'll give you some actual input...
Your "ryming" is pretty strange. Most songs have a pattern of ryming, A-B-A-B, but your song seems to be kinda random. Your first verse is A-B-B-C-D-C-D. The chorus A-B-A-C-C-D-E... Which is very strange and doesn't sound right to the ear when you read it. The rest dosen't really ryme at all. In fact it leads me to belive that the lyrics are a joke, or you just have alot of anger built up inside of you... like the 8 year old kid at the store screaming at his mom for candy... My advice, get really really good at playing something and let someone else write music...

10 FUKIN YEARS -A
OF SERVING IN YOUR NAME -B
ALL THIS TIME IV DELT WITH THE PAIN-B
THIS AIN'T THE FIRST TIME-C
IVE SEEN HIM BEFORE-D
THE LAST TIME-C
IT WAS HIS BLOOD ON MY DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-D

chorus
THIS IS THE TIME-A
THE RIGHT I HAVE-B
TO DEFEND WHAT IS MINE!!!!!!-A
IV NEVER LEFT THE DAY-C
THAT FATEFUL DAY-C
THE ONE I MANAGED TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART-D
IV STILL GOT 80 REASONS TO KILL YOU-E

verse 2
I FOUND THE TIME
TO LOVE WHAT YOU ARE
AND WHAT YOU'LL BE
WERE'S THE SENSE OF LOVE
FOR ME I KNOW
I THROW IT RIGHT BACK IN YOUR FACE
YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


verse 3
UNLOYAL,SO FAITHLESS
I'LL EAT ALL YOUR LIES!!!!!!!
THROW IT UP, AND SIT IT IN YOUR LAP
FUK YOU I NEVER LOVED YOU BEFORE
STUCK UP COW
I'LL BEAT YOU IF I NEED TO
CHEAT ON ME I'LL GIVE YOU HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last edited by pass2 at Jul 5, 2006,
#29
ya know, i kinda like the part......

"STUCK UP COW
I'LL BEAT YOU IF I NEED TO
CHEAT ON ME I'LL GIVE YOU HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"THAT FATEFUL DAY
THE ONE I MANAGED TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART"
such anger...i can imagine a death metal guy going " I MANAGE TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART"....gotta throw a yeah in there....be like.... YEAH, I MANAGE TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART...YEAH...YEAH...YEAH....then a drum roll then TSSSSSS!!! then quiet....TSS TSS TSS TSS.....STAB YOU IN THE HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess you gotta write about politics to not be emo
#31
Quote by Zug Thug Seany
ya know, i kinda like the part......

"STUCK UP COW
I'LL BEAT YOU IF I NEED TO
CHEAT ON ME I'LL GIVE YOU HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"THAT FATEFUL DAY
THE ONE I MANAGED TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART"
such anger...i can imagine a death metal guy going " I MANAGE TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART"....gotta throw a yeah in there....be like.... YEAH, I MANAGE TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART...YEAH...YEAH...YEAH....then a drum roll then TSSSSSS!!! then quiet....TSS TSS TSS TSS.....STAB YOU IN THE HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


dude, don't try to salvage it:P even in the name of comedy:P
#32
Is it possible that the guy actually tried to do a good job? In that case we should probably do what 'Zug Thug Seany' and 'pass2' did and try to help him.
[The Fear Of Hell Is Hell Itself]

[Most Of Us Hover Dubiously Somewhere Between Mute Rebellion And Prattling Submission]
#33
Oh sweet lord.............

Do you think he's like 12, writing his first song, and is now crying because he got beasted, and he actually thought it was good ?
#35
Hey silver bullet, have you ever watched American Idol? Well I like watching the first couple episodes because it'e when all of the really really crappy people are shown. What Simon says to them is mean and harsh... but it's the truth. Some people just aren't ment for singing, or in this case writing. If he wants to work on this or make another song, good for him! If he posts it, I will review it just like another persons song. But in this case, it sucked and I have no problem saying it sucked because it sucked. and I don't care that this may be mean for saying how much it sucked, because anyone who read it knows it sucks...
#37
If it ryhmed better and flowed more smoothly it'd actually be a whole lot better... Although it does need work it's not the worse song I've read... believe me... Um- but I can definetly sense the anger and hatred which makes me think of metal... or death metal... If you fix it up, it'll probably help your song a lot... Fix it, record it- and then show it to ppl... maybe everyone will be blown away some day...
#39
Guess I'm going to hell...

This song was the saddest sack of sh** I've ever seen in my life.

Chill out, go to bed, wake up, and write it over.

And please, take it off.
#40
so i guess the devil will be saving me a seat. because no offense. but what the hell were you on when u wrote this?
and your slow shaking fingertips show that you're scared like me so. lets pretend we're alone
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