#1
I don't what to say about this. I am just at a really low point in life right now. And this is something that came from that.

In This Shadow

In this shadow, there is something behind me.
Something I have never seen.
But yet, I know the face so well.
It seems just like a friend to me.

In the shadow, there is something lurking.
An object that I can?t ignore.
It has grown teeth and fangs and a heartbeat.
But it, I still can?t help but adore.

This shadow of mine, holds my sorrow.
Keeps it hidden away, inside of me.
You can?t see it, when it hurts me.
I?ve got no way to show you this pain.

In this shadow, there?s a being.
Of emptiness, and some regret.
Looking through my shadow I see,
where it intends to take me.

On a journey to a land, that?s not a far away.
A state of bitter hurt, and a city of disease.
A plague upon my heart, and a burden placed on me.
Fighting it seems so futile, because it seems so strong.
I?d fight til I dropped, but then I could not carry on.
So tell me what should I do. Live out this in pain.
Or end it all so suddenly, and only hurt those who see me slain.
Crying seems so pointless, it never seems to help.
I?d drown in my own tears before I ever escaped this hell.

So, in this shadow, here before me,
I see my future and what it intends to be.
I?d bleed if only it would cure this pain and make me whole.
But I have to got no will to carry on, anywhere inside this soul.
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!
#2
GOOd good

very good

i liked it

but i didn't like this part

"it has grown teeth and fangs and a heartbeat"

it seemed out of plaacce
#3
Yeah, I know. I didn't like how that fit either, but I left it in there for imagery, until I could think of something more fitting.
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!
#4
That is really good.
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#5
It sits there all day watching me
An object that I can?t ignore.
I hate it all, it brings no good
but somehow im always there for more

try that
#6
Wow, that's like 50 million times better. Thanks.
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!
#8
The Mega stanza was the best part, probably meant to be since it's the climax, I just have a nack for stating the obvious.

It's very passionate, I applaud that. There's alot of awkwardness, which I am much too tired and on pain killers to suggest any changes right now. You'll notice the structure of that sentence wasn't the smoothest. Anyways Good job, try to go over it and read it out loud a few times, there are places you could fix quite easily yourself.