#1
She said I spoke like hope
Soft and slow
I bet you can't help but feel relieved
Everytime I fail to show
I know I've promised you the impossible
Now, I think, it is time for me to give you the plausible
And if you can mask your dissapointment long enough for me to leave
I'll think we'll both be happy
#2
Wow, this was adorable in its innocence and potent in its beauty. A really cool goodbye note, short and tart/sweet. Brief yet suave. Well done. It's hard to crit such a short piece properly. Good proper flow, internal rhyming and all the jazz. I think you misspelled disappointment though.
#3
I like it, myspace friend.
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
#4
I really liked this.
It held such beautiful meaning to me.
I was drawn back a bit by the use of "I bet", just because it felt so... out of place;
And the last line, maybe intentionally, was a bit clumsy too me.
But, no doubt, a very emotive, simple and well written piece.


Carmel
This is not a pipe
#5
i really liked this poem, and i also liked that you said so much with those few lines... i also liked the way you started
keep up the good work!!

Steph
Boo!
#8
kinda reminds me of the
short stuff i used to write,
but of course, a lot better.

i really liked it.

I just want to sleep forever.