She said I spoke like hope
Soft and slow
I bet you can't help but feel relieved
Everytime I fail to show
I know I've promised you the impossible
Now, I think, it is time for me to give you the plausible
And if you can mask your dissapointment long enough for me to leave
I'll think we'll both be happy
Wow, this was adorable in its innocence and potent in its beauty. A really cool goodbye note, short and tart/sweet. Brief yet suave. Well done. It's hard to crit such a short piece properly. Good proper flow, internal rhyming and all the jazz. I think you misspelled disappointment though.
I like it, myspace friend.
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
I really liked this.
It held such beautiful meaning to me.
I was drawn back a bit by the use of "I bet", just because it felt so... out of place;
And the last line, maybe intentionally, was a bit clumsy too me.
But, no doubt, a very emotive, simple and well written piece.

This is not a pipe
i really liked this poem, and i also liked that you said so much with those few lines... i also liked the way you started
keep up the good work!!

kinda reminds me of the
short stuff i used to write,
but of course, a lot better.

i really liked it.

I just want to sleep forever.