#1
i turned on the dashboard and this is what came out


This room is silent but there is something keeping you up at night
You twist in the sheet and sweat through the bed
Could it be hidden behind these picture frames?
Those picture form the booth on your second date
Were she first kissed you
And the surprised look on your face
The way you both laughed when you saw it

Do these conversations still run through your head?
Can you here what she is saying?
Are you still hanging on to every word?
Like they were the ones you heard for so long

You always thought you?d be invulnerable to an attack like this
But she meant so much more then you wanted
And now she won?t go away
And you?re fighting the phone
You know it?s too late and she won?t answer
But you finally decide to show audacity

Now what will you say
Come on now it?s not time to be tact
This is your chance will you use
You?ve got her full attention now
So will you stand like a lion?
Or tremble like the little kid you still are
Last edited by frd_marshll at Jul 7, 2006,
#3
Quote by frd_marshll
i turned on the dashboard and this is what came out


This room is silent but there is something keeping you night at night
You twist in the sheet and sweet through the bed
Could it be hidden behind these picture frames?
Those picture form the booth on your second date
Were she first kissed you
And the surprised look on your face
The way you both laughed when you saw it

you should really read through your pieces before you post... you night at night? doesnt make sense next line 'sheet and sweAt through the bed rest is good

Do these conversations still run through your head?
Can you here what she is saying?
Are you still hanging on to every word?
Like they were the ones you heard for so long

You never thought you would end up like this
You always thought you?d be invulnerable to an attack like this
But she meant so much more then you wanted
And now she won?t go away
And you?re fighting the phone
You know it?s too late and she won?t answer
But you finally decide to show audacity

i dont like how you ended both lines with like this. Also, the whole 'you never thought you would end up like this' is overused.

Now what will you say
Come on now it?s not time to be tact
This is your chance will you use
You?ve got her full attention now
So will you stand like a lion?
Or tremble like the little kid you still are


eh the endings rather... idk it seems to be a lot different then the rest i dont know how to explain it anyways yeah... if your returning theres on in my sig

-Mike
#5
i think it was awsome.... really i like it alot.... please crit mine just look for it... its called save the children