You can't see anything clear
beyond the froth in your tears
someone out there is taking from you
all of the things you needed to do
and maybe you've told me what for
but did we ever listen before?
cause God helps thoughs who helps themselves
it seems so convenient to tell yourself

and you...
you're stealing for, you're stealing for my lies
such a bad influence am I

You can't hear anything right
stuck on your sense of sight
and maybe you've told us but we didn't listen
is it something that we're missing?
well deliverance is just a state of mind
just like love it's a place and time
cause God helps those who help themselves
seems so convenient to tell yourself

I am a virus inside of you
I am everything you ever knew
here we sit; got no one a freind
spend time with the living and live like we're dead
Good song, man. Not very good at crit, but i really liked it

crit 4 crit

"Winks and Whacks"
"Four Quarters"
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

I'll say that was decent. The reoccurance of the last two lines of the verses is a good idea, I think, though I liked the bridge best. Even though some rhymes seem forced, it's hard not to make rhymes seem forced in most poems/songs. Everything sounds far different when put to music, so it would probably sound far less forced with music backing it.
i like the way youve set this out, interesting theme your singing about too. theres some grammah & spelling errors which are a bit distractive, but overall a good song. does it actually end like that or is there another chorus at the end??? 8/10
Quote by Lord_Of_Dance.

I never understood why a girl would take a boner as a bad thing "Oh no, your attracted to me, you sick wanker." :\ x

Quote by Nelsean
Im saying this the straightest way possible, but...

I'd have sexual intercourse with your anus.