#1
Inspired by a true story... Crit4Crit

"The Tenth Commandment (The Beautiful Whore)."
You shall not covet your neighbor's goods,
Nor your neighbor's life. And never speak,
"A beautiful whore, is my neighbor's wife."
For your tongue is bound and your lips have sinned,
You have done an evil deed. Behind close doors,
You both laid bare and made a wicked scene.
With clever, seductive sentences you whispered
To her heart. And in her bed you swore to her,
"We shall never be apart!"
Soon, this long and ringing paragraph,
Will echo through your head. For the day has come,
And the hour has past; another man has she wed.
#2
I like it, very interesting little piece, you've avoided a possible terrible cliche and made a respectable piece. 8/10
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.
#3
hmm, taking a biblical quote that condemns infidelity and fusing it with ur own ideas about it is creative.
#6
clever
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.
#7
Quote by LemonMonkey5
Its like you wrote your own bible verse.. cool. But why is o bolded?

It's supposed to look like her vagina hole lololol
They say the old woman's got the wisdom
'Cause she couldn't read the clock anymore
She said "The numbers don't represent the moments"
Says she don't see what all the ticking's for
#8
^lol.
but seriously, its extremely creative and almost like you're own bible verse and lemonmonkey said. its cool. 8/10
ICE
CREAM
IS
GONNA
SAVE
THE
DAY
...AGAIN
#10
It is like you've written your own bible verse; the language used mimics that of the bible very well indeed.
"You can never quarantine the past."