#1
Oh god....2 songs in 2 days...I'm on a roll
I don't think this one is as good and has more of a....different vibe than my last one.
crit for crit, as always. also, I don't like this one as much and theres no real rhyme scheme but the way I sing it sounds good so take that into consideration. I'll post a demo of it whenever I get the chance.

Am I wrong to accuse you?
Are you lying, to me?
Its your friend who lies,
Your friend who dies?

Well the, pressures coming down,
Thick in its shroud, and the court is waiting,
For an answer

So please, speak up, speak up,
You have an impatient judge
And a jury full of cynics and you?re,
Biding your time

This is the end, of your,
Malicious behavior and your
Impossible desire, to be near
But with bad, comes good.
It?s the end of all your fear

Keeping your voice barely audible, muttering, as you
Defend your case as they all watch on
Keeping your eyes lowered, but your guards raised

?I swear, it wasn?t me?

This is the end, of your,
Malicious behavior and your
Impossible desire, to be near
But with bad, comes good.
It?s the end of all your fear
ICE
CREAM
IS
GONNA
SAVE
THE
DAY
...AGAIN
Last edited by Room On Fire at Jul 19, 2006,
#2
I liked the idea, but a few lines are kinda odd. for example:

I swear, it wasn?t me?
Well, I?ve got a twenty dollar bill and a room full of witnesses that says different
If and when you win, you can, pay back your debts

just doesn't seem right to me.
the "end of your fear" part was really good (is it a chorus?), and

Keeping your voice barely audible, muttering, as you
Defend your case as they all watch on
Keeping your eyes lowered, but your guards raised

that part was amazing. overall, I give it 8/10. good job.
B.C. RICH
#3
^ yeah that was the chorus and i agree, those lines are the most awkward but i had a touch of writers block and just wanted to finish the song. I'll be working to think of some better fitting lyrics. thanks.
ICE
CREAM
IS
GONNA
SAVE
THE
DAY
...AGAIN