#1
I don?t know what she was thinking
All I know is that I?m sinking
I don?t know what she was drinking that night
All I know is everything is not right

I was lying on the ground
You come over said, ?Look what I?ve found!?
I felt like crying when I saw that guy
He is your boyfriend, now he?s gonna die!!

You couldn?t believe it when urgent care said
I?m sorry girl, but your boyfriend?s dead
Some other guy came up to you
He began to be boyfriend Number 2

I was still lying in bed
You come over and put water on my head
I felt like crying when I saw that guy
He is your boyfriend, now he?s gonna die!

I killed your boyfriend; it?s not a big surprise
I look at you, you continue to cry
I liked you more than any other guy
All the guys, the guys that died!!

You threatened to kill me on the spot
Even though I was a little hot
You love me now and you I love you now
So listen up, watch me take a bow

I was lying on the ground
You come over said, ?Look what I?ve found!?
You helped me up, and we were happy and gay
I killed the kids but you love me anyway!!
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#2
You helped me up, and we were happy and gay
I killed the kids but you love me anyway!!


other than this line which kind of scared me a little lol.. the rest was cool cuz I know that feeling all too well. Of.. wanting to kill someone for someone. Not that I've ever done it.. maybe.. lol

8/10
#6
Not bad overall. But i'm not sure if this was to be taken literally or as a funny song. I can see it working as a funny song, but for a serious screamo/metal song....you might just want to keep it punk-poppish. But a decent job overall.
#8
then you got it down. i imagined it as a old school blink-182 type song. but why were you lying down?
#11
Ha, I know that feeling, It's good though 8/10. I think it's really good, everyone has had this feeling at some point, wether it be like that, or just wanting to litterally knock the **** out of some one. But yeah 8/10. Thanks for the crit. on my song also
"Being sober on a bus is completly different that bein' drunk on a bus"- Ozzy

My lyrics
#12
I like the song, made me laugh a few times, although i was like "whoa.." when i read "i killed the kids but you love me anyway". lol, other than that, nice song.
-Nick
#14
Man, Tom DeLonge and all those famous Punk songwriters will want to shut you up(which is awesome cuz it shows you REALLY have tallent!). I'm still with a lot of verses stucked inside my head, you mix bitter and sweet things in a single song, which is brilliant! Keep up the good work! ROCK ON! =)
#16
Quote by LemonMonkey5
You helped me up, and we were happy and gay
I killed the kids but you love me anyway!!


other than this line which kind of scared me a little lol.. the rest was cool cuz I know that feeling all too well. Of.. wanting to kill someone for someone. Not that I've ever done it.. maybe.. lol

8/10

i agree with this. sept i dont wanna kill nobody. =)...
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez

I used to hate chavs until my sister got a smack in the mouth from one. Now I love them.
#17
Yeah I like that The only lines I struggled with were

You threatened to kill me on the spot
Even though I was a little hot

Which seemed a bit contrived - I like the image that they creat, but maybe there's two better lines to achieve that, I dunno.

But yeah overall it works well, nicely done