#1
One night thunder started rolling
It was our screams and yells
Voices carrying for eternity
Tears streeming down
You were sad, I could tell

Now that I think about it
We were quite mad
And I should have known
Why fighting is so bad

(Chorus)
Fighting is not what I ment to do
It brings more pain
To this already agonizing world
Fighting was not worth the time

So baby please take my apology
Return to back to me
I'm not the person that I was
Now my love is true

Chorus

*End Note*
First song that I have posted on here, please tell me what you think. Also since it is working title, I would like to hear some ideas for it.
#7
some of it didnt rhyme and i dont like the 2nd part of the 1st verse
but good try anyways...
Member # 5 of Can't we forget about all the subgenres and just ROCK? club

#8
I agree with ibanez but other than that it's is solid. I like your writing. so keep it up
#9
i liked it alot actually. the lyrics seemed almost childish but at the same time there was a deeper meaning. only part that seems too forced is this:

Now that I think about it
We were quite mad
And I should have known
Why fighting is so bad

other than that i personally enjoyed it. read me song "Kanye" and crit it if you wanna.
Selling a FZ-2 Hyper Fuzz. 35 o.b.o. Any takers?
#10
One night thunder started rolling
It was our screams and yells
hmm, i dont know about the thunder metaphore, i admit its good but i dont know personally.
Voices carrying for eternity
Tears streeming down
You were sad, I could tell
However this is really good, dont change it (streaming, change that)

Now that I think about it
We were quite mad
And I should have known
Why fighting is so bad
change the third and fourth line to:
"I didnt know why
fighting is so bad" if u like it
oh, and i dont like quite, do you?

(Chorus)
Fighting is not what I ment to do
It brings more pain
To this already agonizing world
Fighting was not worth the time
nothing to crit, very good (meant)

So baby please take my apology
Return to back to me
I'm not the person that I was
Now my love is true
im guessing you say here exactly what you wanna say, i like it

good song though, you do write good ones

Chorus

*End Note*
First song that I have posted on here, please tell me what you think. Also since it is working title, I would like to hear some ideas for it.
"Not Worth the Time", or "I Dont Wanna Fight"? I like the one you have.
#12
One night thunder started rolling
It was our screams and yells
Voices carrying for eternity
Tears running down
You were sad, I could tell

Now that I think about it
We were mad
I didnt know why
Fighting is so bad

(Chorus)
Fighting is not what I ment to do
It brings more pain
To this already agonizing world
Fighting was not worth the time

So baby please take my apology
Return to back to me
I'm not the person that I was
Now my love is true

Chorus
--------------------
Changes, please crit
Last edited by Quik Axe Player at Jul 20, 2006,
#13
yeah its still good, can you still change the "quite" in the first verse? to like, we were so mad... good song like i said, u keeping the title?