#1
MASQUERADE

Seventh day I decide to fast
I never remember
The other six that past
The temple is a mockery
I partake in rituals
I do not believe
He spoke in foreign tongues
I tasted them all
But I understood none
Faith emtombed in hypocrisy
Messiah walks to no avail
Preaching unheard prophecies

I know all your secrets
The ones you keep close to the vest
I will reveal the black robes
Beneath your Sunday best

The mask I wore could not hide
Useless to contain
The pestilence inside
Locusts poured from my mouth
Shattering the fragile
And letting truth out
No atheist in a foxhole
We only fear death
When we grow old
No time for atonement
Only retribution
And eternal punishment

I know all your secrets
The ones you keep close to the vest
I will reveal the black robes
Beneath your Sunday best
#2
Good

but there were somethings that didn't flow

though its kinda hard to tell from my perspective

what kind of song is it

i might be able to help
#3
very good. gives me the feeling i am in room full of people all hiding something. shows good imagery
#5
The concept was immaculate. I loved the line "Locusts poured from my mouth" that is ringing in my ears right now, it actually got me excited. But as I read on you lost the original flow of the piece. I love the chorus, or what I took to be the chorus I actually enjoyed the fact that you ended with it. I was all in favor of the ideas that you were trying to bring to life in your use of "no atheists in a foxhole and we only fear death when we grow old" but you lost the flow that had been there up until this point. Rewording a few lines could ressurrected the beautiful structure that the piece possessed before.

"Locusts poured from my mouth
now unable to control
once the truth is out
there's no atheist in this foxhole

fear of death grows old in atonement
save for retribution
you can eternally own it"

( I just messed around with the lines a little bit, had a little fun. Great concept it got me thinking) Let me know what you think
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