#1
Nights fade into days
Fade into plays
inside my shattered head
Sometimes sorry is better left unsaid

The winds of change
have swept away
what I always needed to stay
Today, blackened heart is on the floor empty

If I'm suppossed to learn
Through broken bones and tragedy
Help me see between the lines
Reaching out for what was mine

I'm sorry for not being picture perfect
A burned picture and a broken frame
Everyone can bleed just like I have before
But not everyone bleeds behind closed doors

If I'm suppossed to learn
through broken bones and tragedy
Help me see between these lines
Reaching out for what was mine


By: Justin Willis

Tell me what you guys think about those lyrics for my new screamo song.
#2
i quite like it for a screamo song. i assume there'll be some repition in there somewhere?

The winds of change
have swept away
what I always needed to stay i dont like this line... just doesnt seem right.
Today, blackened heart is on the floor empty

but other than that,and the fact is a tad bit short, its cool. 7/10.
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#3
not a whole lot of repetition, just the first two stanzas. It's a pretty simple song done in a verse-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus-verse-verse-chrous. It's got a lot of heavy melodies with a huge collision of noise and screaming and the bridge, basically trying to force feed the raw emotion of the song on that part. The verse is done in a very Finch-type sing song style. Thanks for the crit.
#5
you change the rhyme scheme arounn and that's kinda a turn off without any music to back it up.

BTW I read the title and I was thought "Fall out Boy" not meant as insult just a thought

seems all right but the thoughts are all a bit too different.

I don't liek the second stanza it seems really awkwardly phrased but that could be fixed by music...
I listen to music and I don't need your opinions about what I listen to.
#6
Man, you know what? You ROCK (and I'm serious!), I see myself in those lyrics and sometimes I find myself screaming at the mic just to let it out a bit (there I found my origin for screamo). I love the whole lyric, but the part that gave me chills was:

"Everyone can bleed just like I have before
But not everyone bleeds behind closed doors"

^^this is......Wow! Kudos for you, I'd love to hear the music too, I'm sure it's gonna rock! Emotion above everything, that's what music's all about! =)
#7
Dude, thanks man! Screamo to me is what raw emotional music is all about. True inner feelings that at some point, everyone can relate to. We've all bled in one way or another, but not everyone can keep that pain inside....thanks for the compliment!