#1
Here's my other song, i wrote it about a month or two ago. I dont like it much, hope you do.

Im running on empty,
Somebody save me, (verse 1)
Someone get me away from this plae.
Burnin' my fuel
used like a tool
I cant catch up in losing pace.

There's more than just one side of you
I cannot understand (chorus)
Which one tells the truth
My trust has long been gone
Any innocence left in you is now dead and gone.

Im stuck in a dream that
Seems to elude me
I choke on the lies
Being told to me. (verse 2)
I cant catch up now,
Im losing control now,
I feel the world slip out of my grasp.


There's more than just one side of you
I cannot understand (chorus x2)
Which one tells the truth
My trust has long been gone
Any innocence left in you is now dead and gone.


I only want one side of you,
That's all ill ever ask (outro)
One true self thats real
Or i just might not last.

some feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!
-Nick
#2
i like it man

gimmme some crit and i'll like it more..................................

but yea... lol

everybody feels this way at somepoint
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#3
not bad. i'm not sure what the verses and the chorus have to do with each other, but it delivers a message so gj. in the second verse you should change told to fed.
I've seen emo-er.


Member of the "I am a Fan of Gaycore Wrestle-Metal" Fanclub.
#4
meh. . . . i give it a good job. . . .it's good for an emo "i got lied to and i don't like it song", not reele my kind of writting but diff. ppl like diff. things. . . . . . . . .umm some tips i'd give u would be. . . be more creative with your words. . .don't make them so ordinary, get into some reele interesting vocabulary. . . . and switch around the way u rhym stuff., . u used the same words rhymed together too many times. . . . when it's in a song it doesn't sound that good. . . . . it's a good job for a begginer, so keep it up and u'll get better