#1
Hey, I've got this thing which I wrote a while ago. It's an anti-terror (yet another, i know) anthem thingy. I think it's quite good but I'm not at all sure where to go from there. Should it be a chorus or verse? It was originally a verse but i couldn't really fit anything else to that rhyme pattern. If you have an suggestions or comments on where to go or what to do, or even just crit the writing please help. Thanks and crit4crit as ever.


They call it justice we call them bombs.
An expensive way to get your point across.
Who gains from all this death?
The only crusade not yet blessed.
With bloodshed they're obsessed.
But of course we're right!
Member #29 of the Fender Armada. Pm Arlabester...
Co-Founder of the UG Hippie Club! PM me or Blynd_Snyper to join!

My Gear:
Fender Highway 1 Tele
Fender Blues Junior Amp
Korg Multi effects pedal
Peavey Millenium Bass
Peavey Bass Amp
Last edited by Tok at Jul 10, 2006,
#2
damn i realize i broke the rules then wid the lack of song title in the header but it dusnt hav a title so.....
Member #29 of the Fender Armada. Pm Arlabester...
Co-Founder of the UG Hippie Club! PM me or Blynd_Snyper to join!

My Gear:
Fender Highway 1 Tele
Fender Blues Junior Amp
Korg Multi effects pedal
Peavey Millenium Bass
Peavey Bass Amp