#1
This was based on a news story from 10/07/2006 (10th of July - I'm English).
Please feel free to leave a link if you wish.


Injustice

Once upon a time in the city of Baghdad,
A capital governed by western influences,
Several gunmen walked down a busy street
In broad daylight, waving guns as
If they were patriotic flags;
And calmly proceeded to execute passing
Civilians based on suspicions loaded on their names.

Once upon a time in England
My mother was pulled over by a
Watchful policeman in a London-street
For driving too slowly.
#2
, nice little impact piece. The idea of the first stanza allows me to feelthe patheticness of the world we live in, with government rule doing what they like to get their ends to meet. And the second adds nicely to the message of what a two faced country we live in, anything to make a pound out of us, and to let the people no that they really care for our safety. Well it certainly stirred my juices, and simply offered the question why do we bother to vote at all, when all they do is mess with people heads, and aint it scary that they must have a long term plan sorted out for the planet and its population, scares the crapout of me.
So injustice is definately a good title, mice work mate.
Sorry to rant but the times have got me gander up.

Cheers CJW

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=392016
Last edited by Glenn James at Jul 11, 2006,
#3
I'd like to echo all of the above. A good, effective piece, with a clear and defining message.

Good work, once more.
#4
Very Nice,
I like how it talks about how the lil and big things are both equally important...
and its very screwed up that someone can get arrested for driving too slow...and someone can get arrested for shooting up the block
#6
Bam. That's all i really need to say. The impact was incredible. However i thought it was a little too obvious in places, but i guess its meant to be that way. So well done and sorry i can't comment more.

My latest is in my sig, a look would be a great help, thanks.
#10
Thank you guys.

To merkalos - it was actually a long time ago, but I think the effectiveness is still the same. Thank you for your concern though.