#1
right, this is just a verse i wrote whilst being in school.

I was raised by the back of my fathers hand,
well i guess that taught me well,
you can do your best to try and impress,
but kid, you gotta look out for yourself,
so i'm drinking by the roaring fire,
theres no comfort i can find,
you can drown your blues in sex and booze,
but reality is never far behind,
and i know you've tried the best you can,
but son, that aint good enough,
you've gotta do what your told, be brave and be bold,
to be worthy of anyones love.


meh, thought and feelings on this please (dont rob my work, lol)

oh excuse the typos if any!
#4
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#5
thanks alot, i dont know if you noticed but its kinda about child abuse (wierd, as i wrote it in a school but hey) i want to do a couple more verses, maybe one about runnig away and living on the streets and another about pulling yourself together and just fighting back against it all! i would love to have a crazy, simple but ORIGINAL sing along-ish chorus! i reckon that would be reet good. but like i said, finishing it will all those concepts is proving tricky. but when/if i do finish it, i'll post it and see what you think.
#6
sounds good "I was raised by the back of my father's hand" lol
we've all been there.
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#7
This is good. Try your best to keep it around the same Grade A material it has now through the whole song, because I would be delighted to read it

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#8
right, i just got home from school and checked to see if i wrote the verse down right and i forgot to add some extra lines i wrote for the verse, silly me and my crappy memory

here you are :

I was raised by the back of my fathers hand,
well I guess that taught me well,
you can do your best to try and impress,
but kid, you got to look out for yourself,
so I'm drinking by the roaring fire,
well, there's no comfort I can find,
you can drown your blues in sex and booze,
but reality is never far behind,
Oh, cant you wait to taste your blood in the pit of your mouth,
do you enjoy the blurs caused by hurt when manners turn to doubt,
and i know you've tried the best your can,
but son, that aint good enough,
you've got to do what your told, be brave and be bold,
to be worthy of anyone's love.
#10
Chorus idea

oh i'm just a kid on the streets,
i'm lying in puddles and reading dirty magazines,
oh i'm just a kid on the streets,
a dollar, a dime, some love is all i need!