#1
yet another weird introspective song from yours truly. it starts off as if the character is reminiscing with an old friend but theres a twist at they end. anyone who knows anything about drug addiction will understand what im getting at here. crit for crit.

Keep My Head

Remember when we?d laugh and play,
And dream delusions of future days,
But then suddenly it all went away,
We always thought that things would stay,
But things would come and things would go,
Just like a rainstorm or falling snow,
We can?t get out,
We can?t go back,
The world won?t cut us any slack,
This place grew dark,
In such short time,
We couldn?t explain,
No reason or rhyme,
My friends are gone,
Left me for dead,
Somehow I?ve managed to keep my head,
But you?ll never leave,
It?s me and you,
And I could always swallow,
Another of you
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
#3
???...actually its good, but can you please explain the last words? its really good...
"In such short time,
We couldn?t explain,
No reason or rhyme," :in bold i disliked, dont know why, how about: "no reason, no crime?"/ i dont know i dont like the word rhyme ther, it seems like its there just to rhyme, (rhyme is there to rhyme) but whatever, its good anyways

crit the new one of mine? As the River is Bridged
#4
thanks guys
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.