#1
Ok I haven't written a song on here for about a month or so now, I had writers block. This song sort of has a mixed bag of emotions on it. Lies, love, lust etc. And about my girlfriend is sort of angry at me for reasons. Try and guess


Verse
No one can hear the sounds of silence
Do you know if thats what I meant?
No one can hear the repetition of love
Can you see through the clouds above?
But you can hear what people take from me
And you can see the light through depravity
Take a whisper in my ear
Take a whisper then just disappear

Chorus
I can try anything you ever dreamt to be me
But you know I can't go home over you
All I can taste is sincerity
All that I breath is true
All that I feel is life
All that I see is light
Tons of dreams I hope to lose
Doesn't make it right to you

Verse
My parents say I grew up way to fast
There little boy is gorwn up at last
Leaving open doors and open minds
Who knows what I'll find
The liquid plague sweeps my weekends
I sware it's nothing but a trend
Losing the first quarter of life one nothing
Next quarter, lets hit the floor running

Chorus (x1)

Bridge
Don't ask me what I need for Christmas this year
No games, no clothes, just you right here
But there's so many stairways of depression to climb on the way there
Just to catch a glimpse of where?

Chorus (x2)

End.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
#2
man i dont have a guess, but its a good song, writers block for a month, id be mad, but you came back with a good one, no guess, however. great song
#3
Take a whisper in my ear
Take a whisper then just disappear

CalvinTHEEcanadi.
You blew me away with those lines.

It's been along time dude! Writers block sucks, glad your back though, i was starting to worry!
This song is fantastic. [sorry your girlfriend is mad at you] haha.I loved it. There was just some fantasticly amazingly written lines thrown in there that kept the readers attention.Like the one that i wrote at the top for example.
The only thing i would say is that the chorus..didn't really feel like a chorus to me. I dunno. Maybe thats just me. I suppose it would sound great to music. =]
Once again, i'm glad your back, keep in touch, and, my band are working on your song at the moment =D Thanks again.
9/10
franz xxxx
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.
#4
I really like this song. Some of the lines are super nice!

I think that instead of writing things like "Chorus X2" you should write them all out. The whole song looks and reads nicer that way!

I hope your girlfriend doesn't stay mad at you, kupo!
#5
Hey. I really dug this too. That whisper and disappear line is really cool, and there were others that definitely stood out. I don't really have anything useful to add in terms of potential changes except... the reason I started reading was because i wanted to tell you to make your title less Goo Goo Dolls.

If you meant it, that's cool. but "Doesn't life feel like the movies" was a little to close to "when everything feels like the movies" for me. Just a thought though, and not something to get really worked up about, 'cause it's not a big deal.

Nice song man, glad you're feeling the creativity buzz again.
- PunkFish
#6
Thanks for the kind words guys, and PunkFish, the Goo Goo Dolls are one of my favorite bands lol, that is were I got the idea from.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
#7
This song is really great. I agree that you should you should write out your choruses, and I really love this line:
"Losing the first quarter of life one nothing
Next quarter, lets hit the floor running"
Aweome.
10/10
Quote by KaMiKaZi90
"Mr. Owl? How many strokes does it take to make my little man explode?"
"Lets find out! One! Two! Three!"
*Crunch*
""
#8
Wow, thanks for the crit Prove_i_Did_It . It owned.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
#9
Quote by calvinthecanadi
Thanks for the kind words guys, and PunkFish, the Goo Goo Dolls are one of my favorite bands lol, that is were I got the idea from.



Haha, no worries dude. Goo Goo Dolls are gnarly. Nothing wrong with lovin' them. Anyway, if you have a chance, it'd be awesome if you'd crit my song Hail Mary. I'd really, really appreciate it. Thanks dude!

Cheers
- PunkFish
#11
I have no clue.lol. Good job. It doesn't take much to stump my simple mind.. You did great though.
#12
So, is this song gonna be like a googoodoll song, i like em too, itd be nice if it was kinda their style. just wondering what music youre going for

and can you crit my new one, found myself (in my sig.) thanx
#14
Verse
No one can hear the sounds of silence
Do you know if thats what I meant?
No one can hear the repetition of love
Can you see through the clouds above?
But you can hear what people take from me
And you can see the light through depravity
Take a whisper in my ear
Take a whisper then just disappear
Great beginning. Good imagery, emotion, and flow. Also, as someone else already pointed out, the last two lines are great.

Chorus
I can try anything you ever dreamt to be me
But you know I can't go home over you
All I can taste is sincerity
All that I breath is true
All that I feel is life
All that I see is light
Tons of dreams I hope to lose
Doesn't make it right to you
I don't understand the first line. Although, I know it's repetition for effect, "all that I" got annoying. Especially because all of the "that's" seem/are superfluous. Like I said when I crit'ed someone else's song, that might just be me because as a news writer, I hate un-needed articles. Other than that, this was a good stanza as well.

Verse
My parents say I grew up way to fast
There little boy is gorwn up at last
Leaving open doors and open minds
Who knows what I'll find
The liquid plague sweeps my weekends
I sware it's nothing but a trend
Losing the first quarter of life one nothing
Next quarter, lets hit the floor running
I thought this verse was great. I love the end. The only thing I don't like is "way" in the first line. Again, I think it's something you don't need there. However, if it sounds better with the music to keep it like it is, then more power to you.
Chorus (x1)

Bridge
Don't ask me what I need for Christmas this year
No games, no clothes, just you right here
But there's so many stairways of depression to climb on the way there
Just to catch a glimpse of where?
Good, but that third line throws the flow to the wind.

Chorus (x2)

All-in-all, I generally like this song. My biggest problems stem from useless articles.

If you could crit my newest, that'd be nifty. Link in my sig.