#1
What yall think about first verse and chorus.....

It was
just an innocent kiss
nothing was
intended to grow from it
But now
here we are
Bloosemed
touching eachothers lips

<Chorus>
Cause I......
Cant get enough
of you baby
I want you
more and more
Your love
im constantly craving
So just keep
giving me more
<Chorus>

Baby You are
Everything
i hoped for
And You are
The only thing
i adore
So no matter
what life bring us
dont you
Walk out that door

<Chorus>
Cause I......
Cant get enough
of you baby
I want you
more and more
Your love
im constantly craving
So baby keep
giving me more
<Chorus>
#2
The difficulty here is that you've taken a cliched feeling and not put any substance behind it, therefore making it trivial. I'm not saying that what you're saying isn't genuine but at the moment it reads like one thousand other throwaway songs that didn't make the grade. As harsh as it sounds, anybody could write this on the back of an envelope during a lunch break. Try going deeper, write about this subject, sure, but go beyond merely stating the feeling and put some actual feeling behind it. Don't be afraid to write something that's a bit different; it will evoke more of a reaction than this, because if you post something like this, no-one will pay a blind bit of notice. I'm sure you can write better, and I'm sure you will.
Alex
"You can never quarantine the past."
#3
I agree, you're saying it was innocent, but then it was making out??? Please clear this up. It has potenial