#1
Here's a song that I think you'll like

As far as I'm concerned, it's probably one of the better things I've ever recorded, so I'm pretty happy with it. Still, I'd LOVE to get feedback and opinions and suggestions, so please leave a crit and I'll do the same for you

http://horriblemusic.dmusic.com
Last edited by yawn at Jul 13, 2006,
#2
Well ignoring the tone of the guitar, which I think is a recording issue, the picking bit has a nice chord progression, but it lacks direction. I kept waiting for it to build apon itself, maybe change the picking style, or something. Maybe jazz it up a bit with some slides, hammers, etc. Just make it eveolve, repeating the same thing for that long gets boring. The strummed part is just kinda boring....nothing really going on. Piano/guitar lead is a nice idea for sure, but IMO It wasn't well executed. This chord progression really gives you the option to throw all sorts of absolutely beautiful melodies/other crap over it. With some work, you could put an absolutely fantastic vocal line over it...

So in conclusion, you have a nice chord progression, but it's not finished in any way.
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#3
I must agree with Pink, the rhythm does get repetitive after a while, and the picking part does provide many opportunities for additions. Also, I don't know what happen to the lead, whether you doubled and didn't get the bends right, or something, but damn, that hurt.

Other than that, I enjoyed it, but spice it up some.

If you don't care, please crit my song. Everyone seems to be avoiding it like an old midget transvestite with hepatitis. Wondrous Space, The Detour
#4
Its pretty good. Loved the Lennon style piano playing.
I'm not really into instrumentals though, I think you should throw some lyrics in

By the way, loved the IV to iv chord change. I'm a big fan of that haha. Its probably my fav change.

PS: Is the song named after John Lennons aunt Mimi?
#5
Quote by Lemmon
Its pretty good. Loved the Lennon style piano playing.
I'm not really into instrumentals though, I think you should throw some lyrics in

By the way, loved the IV to iv chord change. I'm a big fan of that haha. Its probably my fav change.

PS: Is the song named after John Lennons aunt Mimi?
Lol, the Major/Minor transition is pretty spiffy

And nope, it's not named after her. I'm amazed I actually remember he had an aunt named Mimi (I did a report in him a little over a year ago so I learned all sorts of Lennon stuff =D )

Quote by Kidzelda
I don't know what happen to the lead, whether you doubled and didn't get the bends right, or something, but damn, that hurt.
Eh, I was trying to give it a real raw, intense feel. You've probably not heard these songs, but I was going for something like the solos in Slipknot's Vermillion or Weezer's Death and Destruction. Anyways, thanks for the crit =)
Last edited by yawn at Jul 13, 2006,
#6
wow, this is great!! the acoustic aint jamming like i would like....pretty pansy strumming, not trying to sound mean eina then after that electric guitar KICKS in way too loud with some weirdass tone....but sounds like it was just clipping......apart from this, very chillax. i like it...i am trying to imagine vocals on here, but man the piano is doing a great job nicely done.....and yeh, abt that major/minor switch....lol almost reminded me of "when september ends" this song

care to crit my "instrumental"?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=393227

thanks, this was a cool one
#8
I thought the piano was genius, but the electric guitar absolutley ruined it. It's like you took a brilliant Beatles/Lennon esque keyboard and acoustic guitar and put it under an ugly Slipknot/Weezer solo (too loud and bad tone by the way).

The two do not go together! Personally I think an acoustic solo would have gone nice there, or maybe even a piano improv. If you insist on using an overdriven electric guitar, I'd do a soft Gilmour/Harrison/Clapton type solo that goes with the music!

You have great composing skills though with the piano and acoustic guitar. I'd like you see you re-do this one, it has so much more potential than you've shown us
#9
^ Aw, the electric guitar solo was my favorite part of the whole song

Bleh, my favorite genre is hard rock and yet it looks like the only thing I can record well are piano and acoustic guitar ><
#10
i like this, but i have to agree didn't like the solo, can you put this on yousendit.com so i can download and make a solo for it? this song really makes me want to create a solo for it
#12
8/10- Lyrics would definitley make this a killer song, and ^i would have to agree than an acoustic solo might sound a bit better but meh, i liked it none the less. Overall I enjoyed it and keep it up.
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#13
^ So do you personally think the electric solo was good or bad?
#14
^I find its just a equilibrium thing. I liked the solo, just if it were less overdriven it would sound more balanced with the piano. But hey its your music and your prefrences so go with it if you really like it
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#15
i liked the solo i think that it was just too loud, i think a distorted solo like that would work for this song, just needs better recording quality and not so loud
#16
Is it weird that when I listen to this I imagine Chris Cornell's vocals?


And I was hoping for it to build up and have a great finale but i was disapointed a bit. but overall dat gewd, mah friend.
#17
^ Hm, I might have some electric guitar chord backing for the fnal verse, ending it climactically instead of softly.

Problem is I already used this formula for another song - I don't want to get repetative
Last edited by yawn at Jul 17, 2006,
#18
I like it. It starts off with a really nice intro and goes into a nice verse. Its very peaceful and it defiently deserves words also. Put some lyrics over it! Either that or maybe add a lead instrument to give it more feeling for the first couple minutes. The piano is nice though, I enjoyed that part.

heres my song
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6170933#post6170933
#19
nice. i liked the chord progression, and how it all built up. tone was abit dogedy tho on the guitar
#22
sounds simple, but its got the right feel. nice, everything works together, which is friggin hard to do. im on a critiq'n rampage right now, best stuff ive heard, and is a great passer for the boredom. weird stuff, what echo delay on the piano in the 'solo', might wanna think of a lower octave so it doesnt interrupt the tone too much. still good.
#23
^ Cool. What'd you guys think of the guitar solo? I still don't know whether I should keep it or drop it...