#1
This isnt really finished I just wanna know if you thinks its worth continuing
Critiques much appreciated


Necrophiliac obsession of the anti-christ possession
Blow up wives, men stuck with knives
Fecal Matter damned to my dinner platter
Rapes behind closed doors, women forced to all fours
Constipated birth controls the population of the earth
Dine on anothers flesh, good and evil seem to mesh
Chaos reigns and serenity is lost, blood for oil no matter the cost
Hanged by your own selfish ways, silently a child plays
blissfully ignorant to all around, suddenly shot it falls to the ground
Our race has all but pulled the trigger on its self, soon to be rested on the shelf
Neglegant to the earth, we forget it gave us birth
Hurried by this change of pace, deformed mother natures beautiful face
Times unholy and marked by death, stinking corpse and rotting breath
Christ is lost and cant be found,people on bended knee touch the ground
Hang your head and cry the blood, drops from your eyes into the mud
"Acid was my favorite drug, it expanded my mind, when I was on acid, I realized a lot of things...like butter is way better than margarine, I saw through the bullshit"-Mitch Hedberg

when asked the uses of a pick
Quote by 4e574e57363g
masturbation device
#2
reminds me of cannibal corpse with all the gore and such. but also it has parts to it that actually have more meaning. most of corpse's stuff is just kill kill where as this relates to actual world happenings. the second line seems a bit out of place and in my opinion not really nessecary.
#3
I'd hate to see the music video.....

Imagery is great, though! (Great as in effective, not good)
#4
it really depends what you're trying to achieve I guess.

Alas, this has all the subtlety and finesse of a sledgehammer, and although while shooting straight to the point has its' advantages sometimes such straightforward lyrics are a little too superficial.
Absinthe maketh the heart grow fonder
#5
yeah I thought I had an okay idea at first but it got away from me, I dont care for it too much either
"Acid was my favorite drug, it expanded my mind, when I was on acid, I realized a lot of things...like butter is way better than margarine, I saw through the bullshit"-Mitch Hedberg

when asked the uses of a pick
Quote by 4e574e57363g
masturbation device
#7
Quote by Morrison_lizard
yeah I thought I had an okay idea at first but it got away from me, I dont care for it too much either


fair enough. My personal opinion is if you make something public domain and ask for peoples thoughts, opinions and criticism it should at least be of a standard that you care for. Otherwise you waste peoples time and it's a bit insulting. I'm not getting mad or anything, but just for next time.
Absinthe maketh the heart grow fonder
#8
THat's deep. I like it.
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