#1
If I, both optimistic and defeated,
Decided to tell you the truth
That I think you've been avoiding me
In fear of something happening
Would that make me honest
Or an asshole?

Can I be held responsible
For what we both knew was coming?

And I am arrogent to believe that
There was ever anything happening
To be afraid of

But you, confident and collected,
Do not know what it is
You want to say
Or if I am what you need
That, or someone like me
#2
Quote by ScarredFaith
If I, both optimistic and defeated,
Decided to tell you the truth
That I think you've been avoiding me
In fear of something happening
Would that make me honest
Or an asshole?

Can I be held responsible
For what we both knew was coming?

And I am arrogent to believe that
There was ever anything happening
To be afraid of

But you, confident and collected,
Do not know what it is
You want to say
Or if I am what you need
That, or someone like me

#3
Quote by Changerat


LMFAO.

BEST.
REPLY.
EVER.
Absinthe maketh the heart grow fonder
#4
Hello mate. I'm not sure if I can say anything useful after the previous posts.

I can't work out the last line. I don't know if it's me, or if you've made a grammatical error there, but it doesn't really make sense to me.

Otherwise, I think this is OK. It certainly lack the poeticness of the one you did about an artist, but the sentiment is still strong. I do reckon that this piece lacked a bit of real cunning though because of that.

Altogether, I did enjoy this quite a bit.
#5
I agree with the confusion of the last line.

Sorry to say, but I think I see this much as I did your last piece, which is to say I wasn't hugely impressed. I thin kyour last couple of been sub-par compared to some of your other work I have seen, they seem less inspired or something. Don't think I've got a hate campaign against your or something, I haven't, I'm only giving my opinion, and I think this isn't the best you can do.

For me, it sort of read like someones early attempt at this sort of style, and whilst having some good ideas, the execution seemed pretty poor and rushed. this one just didn't grab my attention enough, and at best, it was Ok.

Sorry for being kinda harsh But I do enjoy most of what you write, I just haven't been imnpressed with the last two or three, and think you can do better.
#6
It's fine, I've been just writing lately. I'm not trying to put any poetic spin on it or anything, I'm just trying to get back into the habit of writing. Thanks for the honesty, though

EDIT: The last line means "do you want me or someone like me", but I couldn't word it just right.
Last edited by ScarredFaith at Jul 13, 2006,