#1
It's been a while now since you left me here...
I call out your name but it's not you that I hear...

The only thing I hear is an akward silence and
the echo of my heartbeat...

Suddenly my heart gets a blow...
Like a bird that has flown against the window...

I stumble and fall...
I guess the note and knife between my ribs will explain all...

Farewell my life...
Hello my love...
#2
It's definitely... err... interesting. Songs about suicide aren't really the type of thing that I enjoy, but it's ok.

Maybe it could be a little longer?
Dean Razorback Explosion
Fender Strat
Traynor 80w 2x12 (All tube)
Bad Monkey OD
Crybaby Wah
Boss NS-2 Noise Supressor

Quote by Axeman99
A solid state half stack is nothing but a PENIS EXTENSION
#3
I agree that it should be longer. And you should put more depth in it. What I mean about that is that you should put more topics into the song. That way people can tell you have some experience in writing songs.
#4
To start off, thiswas very cliched. You should make it more obscure by using more and differing images. Also it was very blunt and brash and although hat can be a very good effet i didn't feel it fitted in with this piece.

Nevertheless it was a decent efforand you can only improve next time. So, good luck.

Could you look at mine for me please?