#1
This song is not complete, but I would appreciate if you could say somthing about it anyway. There may be some spelling misstakes coz I´m swedish and my english is not perfect, please tell me about them.

I saw you fall

We were both young and free,
made big plans for our lives to come
But that was seven years ago
and I´m singing to a wreck that once was you.

I should have seen the changes
I could have stopped it all
Thought you knew what you were doin´
So I let you go, and I saw you fall

solo

It started with a word, or was it just a drink
Somehow you seemed different
I realized/understood that you had fallen, when I saw your hair
You used to work so hard, now you don´t even care

I could have told your mother
I should have called the cops
Thought you knew what you were doin´
So I let you go, and I saw you fall

( verse 3, I´m working on it)

I could have spared you all the pain
I should have shot you dead
Thought you knew what you were doin´
So I let you go, and I saw you fall


That´s it, please comment
Some live, some die. And the rest of us just keep fighting eachother.
#2
I don't like this line

I realized/understood that you had fallen, when I saw your hair

When I saw your hair, doesn't really make sense to me with the rest of the line, but other than that I think it will make a good song.
I really like this stanza
I could have told your mother
I should have called the cops
Thought you knew what you were doin´
So I let you go, and I saw you fall
#3
Thank you very much, that was a good help for me.
Some live, some die. And the rest of us just keep fighting eachother.
#4
wow...its really an interesting idea

i like the way you switched from the "I feel bad for you" attitude...to "I wanna kill you" attitude, it makes the song very believable, and in the second verse i think it is, i would use "Understood" instead of "realized", it seems to flow better with the lines around it

crit mine please?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=394385