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#1
alright.. so my friend cracked this really bad joke today just jokingly, he was like "hey guys did you know my grandfather died in the holocaust?" and im like "really now" and he's like "yeah he fell off a guard tower"

anyone else got any offensive/mean jokes to share?
Quote by lou_dog69
the moral of the story is keep your jizz covered fingers out of virgins vaginas... HOLY CRAP that explains how mary was a virgin!!! the bible finally makes sense
#2
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?


Because she was a woman....
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#5
what do you call a black guy with no arms?


....trustworthy.
if your fingers arent bleeding, then your not playing hard enough
#6
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.
Quote by Pinky&The Brain

Brain
Are you pondering what I'm pondering pinky?

Pinky
I think so, Brain, but where would we buy rubber pants at this hour?
#7
on the topic of helen keller,

how do you punish helen keller, put a bunch of doornobs on her wall.

have u ever seen a picture of helen kellers dad? haha neither has she.
#8
What do you call a black pilot?


A black pilot you rascist bastard.

Lol, sorry, i just like that one


EDIT:

I got one

A jewish kid went to his dad and said 'dad, could I borrow 50 dollars?'

His dad said '40 dollars! What do you need 30 dollars for? I don't have 20 dollars!'
Last edited by metalfan#3 at Jul 15, 2006,
#9
what'd the blind deaf mute paraplegic kid get for chirtsmas.............................................................................................................................................................

cancer
#10
whats the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette...


....i dont have a corvette in my garage. haha i officially ruined your thread because now its gonna be all dead baby jokes.....though i am surprised there havn't been any chuck norris jokes yet!
Originally posted by METALUPTHEASS
You have an eating disorder Fatty.


Quote by lou_dog69
my life was nearly crushed the day i found out twinkle twinkle little star, Bah Bah black sheep and the Alphabet song are all the same
#11
oh dude i got the most racist joke ever. it's hilarious but it's messed up.

why are black people's noses so big?


.cuz that's where god was holding them when he painted them.


oh man i feel bad.
#13
This one is stupid:

What do you call a mexican rolling around in the sand
___________________________________________

A churro

But this one is hilarious but its a yo mama joke

Yo mama's so fat she jumped off the golden gate bridge and baptized half of mexico
Last edited by INNOCENT VICTIM at Jul 15, 2006,
#15
Quote by eaglesfanno3
haha i officially ruined your thread because now its gonna be all dead baby jokes.....


which reminds me.


a couple rush to the hospital to give birth to their child. the doctor successfully delivers the baby, but right after, he grabbed the baby and chucked it at the wall. he smashed it to little bits until it was baby pudding. the parents looked in disgust. the doctor explained, no i'm just joking, it was already dead.
#16
why did the chicken cross the road!!?!?!!


to get to the other side!!!...o wait...needs to be mean....ummm....to get cancer
Nicks and dents are battle scars...they give a guitar history.


Quote by Homer Simpson
When you think about it, mud is just wet dirt.
#17
How do you make a fox run across Canada?
Cut off one of it's legs!

What sound does a baby make when it's being shoved in a blender?
I dunno, I was too busy masturbating.

How many Jews can you fit in a small car?
One million and four. 2 in front, 2 in back, a million in the ash tray.

EDIT Just remembered these:

Why couldn't the cat eat it's breakfeast?
Becase It's face was stapled to the floor!

Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken, duh.
I will show you something different from either
Your shadow in the morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
#19
Why do black guys have such big penises?


God felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.
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#20
in new york city a american mexican, a american black guy and a american white guy fall in a pit and they find a lamp. Then a genie comes out of the lamp and says I will grant each of you a wish. The mexican goes first and says I wish all my people would go back to our home country of mexico POOf all the mexicans go back to mexico. Then The genie asks the black guy his wish. The black guy says I wish all my people would be returned to mother africa POOF all the black people are sent back to africa. Finally the genie asks the white guy. He says so all the chinqs are back in mexico? and all the black people are in africa? hm I dunno i Geuss Ill have a coke.
#21
what sucks about being a black jew


you have to go to the back of the oven
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#22
A black guy, a Mexican, a Jew and a gay guy all jump off a cliff to see who could hit the ground first. Who wins?


Society!!!
#24
What do you do when you walk downstairs in the middle of the night and see your TV floating away?

Take out your gun and shoot the [person of African-descent].
I will show you something different from either
Your shadow in the morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
#26
Quote by true_bacon22
in new york city a american mexican, a american black guy and a american white guy fall in a pit and they find a lamp. Then a genie comes out of the lamp and says I will grant each of you a wish. The mexican goes first and says I wish all my people would go back to our home country of mexico POOf all the mexicans go back to mexico. Then The genie asks the black guy his wish. The black guy says I wish all my people would be returned to mother africa POOF all the black people are sent back to africa. Finally the genie asks the white guy. He says so all the chinqs are back in mexico? and all the black people are in africa? hm I dunno i Geuss Ill have a coke.

psh, thats from boondock saints, everyone knows that one. good one though, haha, only you have to say the N WORD!
Originally posted by METALUPTHEASS
You have an eating disorder Fatty.


Quote by lou_dog69
my life was nearly crushed the day i found out twinkle twinkle little star, Bah Bah black sheep and the Alphabet song are all the same
#28
Quote by he_is_kyle
on the topic of helen keller,

how do you punish helen keller, put a bunch of doornobs on her wall.

have u ever seen a picture of helen kellers dad? haha neither has she.


I dont get it??
#29
whats funnier then a baby in a trash can............ one baby in two trash cans

whats funnier then a baby in the washing machine........ hitting it in the head with a shovel
#30
what do you call a lepor in a hot tub...


stew
Last edited by GDTSA at Jul 15, 2006,
#31
How many emos does it take to change a light bulb?
2: One to change it and one to write a song about how much they miss the old light bulb.

Q) What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind?
A) His teeth.
Last edited by xchiefx at Jul 15, 2006,
#32
Why would a black man be scared a chainsaws?


Cuz they go "run-nigganigga-run-nigga"
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#33
Why do they call Pre Menstruel Syndrome "PMS"...............Cause "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Why do Mexicans put they're names in the rear windsheild of their car..............so they don't steal their own car.
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
She has a pussy so she shall be banged.


Smile, enjoy, live...you only get to do it once.
#34
what do you call a mexican with a rubber toe/!!?!?!?!?!!

Roberto @!@!$#!$#! fsagdfhsdufhsadlolrofllmfaopwnt.comadfsafds
#35
What's faster than a black man stealing your TV?
His brother with the VCR.

I'm so going to hell. Well, see ya all there!
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#36
Why did the pope live so long? He had a determined pupeteer.

Why do Southerners love GRITS? Because Girls Raised In The South are easy.
#21 OF THE NON-CONFORMIST CLUB
#37
In the Garden of Eden,
as everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
without any clothes.

In this garden,
were two little leaves,
one covered Adam's,
one covered Eve's.

As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
the wind came along,
and blew the leaves away.

At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve's treasure,
All covered with hair.

And wonder came,
Under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing,
started to rise.

They found a spot,
that suited them best,
a nice big tree,
where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider,
and wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.

The head of Adam's thing,
Peeked into the hole,
and filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.

Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve's treasure,
was all wet inside.

The joy was good,
She wouldn't let loose,
Until Adam's thing,
Was all out of juice.

Then down through the years,
People did screw,
and now it is time,
for me and you.

So pull down your pants,
and lay in the grass,
because I'm in the mood,
for a piece of that ASS!
#38
What sound does it make when you put a baby in a blender?

I don't know I was too busy masturbating.
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#39
There was a mom and dad that wanted to make a secret code for when they want to have sex and also to hide it from the kids. They decided the code would be typrwriter.
One day the dad was watching tv with the kids while mom was doing the dishes.

DAD: go tell mommy daddy wants to type a letter.
KID: mom... dad wants to type a letter now
MOM: well tell him he can't cuz there is a red ribbon in the typewriter right now.

a couple days later

MOM: go tell daddy mommy is ready to write that letter.
KID: daddy... mommy is ready to write that letter.

DAD: too bad i already wrote it with my hand
#40
what's long and hard on a black man?


3rd grade.


What were black people doing when the planes hit the WTC?

Singing "I'm dreaming of a white christmas"