#1
This is the second song (demo) Iv put together for a small split I want to make with a friend of mine. I want to make a few demos so I can set up a recording session to rerecord them all. But I need your help on what to correct!

I put together this demo last night titled "The Sky" and was up until almost 5 in the morning because I had only an intro to write with when I started at 1:30 :P

But anyways, Please excuse the countless mistakes that are made, and by the time I went to record the vocals it was about 4:30 in the morning and they are horribly off key at times so please excuse that. I also wrote all the lyrics on the spot so I need to change them around a bit too haha.

Well anyways here it is:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=568483

And leave a link so I can crit your song!
#2
Hey man.

The sky was very good. Only prob is, as you said, the voice sometimes is off key and kinda fades into the song and at points you can't really hear what you are saying.

The solo is wicked and the acoustic guitar work is quite good. The only other thing I got a prob with is the recording. Within that solo , at certain times it was reallu high pitched and screethy. But since you want a crit on the actually song and not the recording as you are going to re record it, I guess that isn't really a problem.

The lyrics seem find to me , and the singing melody is very Bob Dylan-esque in my opinion. WHich is a cool thing. But just the vocals that don't really live up to the rest.
Proud Owner of:

Jackson RR3
Jackson WRMG

Quote by madbasslover
What's the big deal with Gibsons, anyway?
I've heard loads of Gibsons being played before
and they don't sound any more special than
any other guitar.

^UG's King Of Fail.
#3
Sweet. I really like the lead tone - sounds near-epic. However, I really feel this could benefit from some drums. You've got a pretty good voice - really deep =D

Overall the recording quality is very muddy and echoey; it would be nice if this was clearer and "crispier". Still, it's good for a demo =)
#4
Doesn't work for me.
Quote by yawn
My work here is done.

Destroying the lives of innocent people, one post at a time.


Member of the 'Muse > any other band' club
#5
crit as i listen.........intro lead guitar is clean..nice tone. love the acoustic guitar which follows really peaceful and clean, singing sounds a bit lost in the mix, feel theres a bit too much reverb on it. like the acoustic riff at 2:38 love the key change at 3:09. now sounds very spacey, in a good way. thats my favourite section.

gutiar playings good all the way through, but feel the vocals have a bit too much reverb, ne way.. good job

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=393261
#6
^

Thanks guys, yeah the singing is def want I really want to work on the most for the final. I gotta also find a good level of reverb. I like having some reverb on my voice, but yeah Ill clean it up a little.

Thanks for the support
#7
^I agree with the singing aspect, but jesus I think I honestly listened to that opening solo like ten times-good job
The Below Statement Is false
The Above Statement Is True
#8
There needs to be a bit more flow. The guitar work is near flawless IMO. Vocals are a bit off key at times but better than I could do. the last complaint is I cannot understand a word your saying. Less reverb plz.
#11
On the reverb debate, I think it should be taken down a little. You can't really tell that you have a good voice, which I think you do. And you can't make out the lyrics. The guitar is awesome, but the vocals are really really drowned out because of the reverb.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=395428
If you expect a kick in the balls and get a slap in the face, it's a victory.
-Ardal O'Hanlon

ME \/
http://fwa.dmusic.com
Last edited by iconoclast816 at Jul 17, 2006,
#12
Yeah, Ill take down the reverb. Thanks guys, im glad to know the guitar came out good. I was iffy on some parts but I guess I like it. Thanks you all for your crits and I will get critting yours now who posted there links.
#13
Liking the beginning. Good solo. The vocals are also pretty good. A bit off-key on some places, but you already knew that. The reverb on the vocals is not necessarily bad. Allthough, that depends on what kind of sound you're looking for. If I were you, I'd probably put drums here and repeat the intro guitar solo. When you do the final version, be sure the mix the vocals louder. Good job!
#14
Your vibrato could use a bit of work, and maybe it was the effect you were going for, but it'd be nice to get a clearer sound in the opening solo. I really liked the intro. Push the vocals forward, I really don't think they sound to bad. It has that hazy day/dreamy effect. Agreed with everyone who said something as with drums, and a bass would sound nice too. Ask around for an acoustic bass player on the forum or in your town, I think it would add alot. Just my opinion though. Anyway overall, I liked it alot. Good job.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=395994 take alook there if you'd like.
Quote by Yespleasevicar
NevermorePsalm thank you for showing me how clever and witty one person can be in just a few sentances. My God i wanna be like u so much! In fact we all do. Well done

Steven Wilson and Mikael Akerfeldt own my soul.