#1
This is basically about being friends with someone, who doesn't really like you, but just keeps you around to make fun of. And not really knowing or caring about it until they tell you.

"Go away and don't talk to me again"

That?s what you said out of the blue
I got the feeling that
You never really liked me, did you?

But please just hit me one more time
And call me names like you used to
You were my friend then

I followed anywhere you wanted to go,
I did anything, I blocked out that snigger in your eyes

Some people say that I?ll be better off without you
Why do they think that, I?ll be left out on my own,
You didn?t need me, but took me in anyway
Now I know the truth, but I miss the company

Please just hit me one more time
And call me names like you used to
You were my friend then
My best friend
Quote by StaggHound
That's the problem with kids today. No upper body strength.
Back in my day, when you smashed a guitar, it stayed smashed.


Cunning Pikes

The one and only member of the Cunning Pike Club.
#2
hmm.

i like it.

"Please just hit me one more time
And call me names like you used to"

thats my favorite line
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#4
i didn't think it was bad, it gets the message across and you make yourself clear, but there are a few things i didn't like. it's just, i've heard this before; you should really try to be original, to use metaphors, imagery, stuff like that. but it wasn't bad, because i could really feel what you meant here, the message itself did appeal to me, it was just the way you brough it that i didn't like too much. i don't know if you've been writing for a long time, but i'd just say: keep it up, and things will come naturally after a while. you'll get better, and if you keep posting i'll try to keep an eye out for your stuff!

can you do mine? tnq
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=393814
#5
Quote by mrf1shie
Please just hit me one more time
And call me names like you used to
You were my friend then
My best friend


That sounds like Neon Genesis Evangelion. Roflawl
#7
i quite liked it, made me think. i found the lines were put together like a jigsaw and was all in rite placesthats my opinion,
thx for commenting on mine
PSN: Noverion
#9
i think it needs some work, sorry.
it takes randomness to be <i> cool <i>, kind of like tourettes on speed

Cartman - Whatever, whatever, I do what I want!!

Fender Strat Jimmie Vaughn Tex Mex
Peavey 112 EFX Amp
Drumset
#10
yea, i agree, i think it needs some work. Some work with rhyming and improvement of flow.
Last edited by Sveta at Aug 15, 2006,
#11
This is a subject that I have a hard time imagining as a song, but was kind of thought provoking.
Back in high school I had quite a large group of friends (before everyone either became too drugged up, or left my hometown, and I left too) and I did keep some people around just to make fun of, and at the time I really thought it was hilarious.

Like one of the people I kept around always had problems with his computer because he downloaded way to much porn, and he was always really lazy, and never really wanted to leave his house, so I thought up the name Notorious M.B. (masturbator), and everyone thought it was hilarious and called him that also, and while that is just one example, there were two others that were quite memorable.

After those people realized how ****ty we were treating them, they stopped hanging out with my friends, and after they were not there to make fun of anymore I started to understand just how ****ty I had treated them. I now understand the world a little more, and see that I was just another asshole that makes people hate their lives. I also understand that everyone is just trying to make the best of their ****ty lives, and intelligence or other things don't make you a better person, and that you should promote loyalty and really take a person for who they are, and either accept them as a friend, or don't pretend like you want them to be around.

I am kind of rambling now, but your poem actually did mean something to me.