#1
I wrote this song a while ago and I meant to put it up here but it completely slipped my mind. This is some ghostwriting I did for a friend who is putting a mixtape together. Keep in mind this is a rap song, if you don't like rap, I don't care, don't comment on how you hate rap. I was listening to a lot of MF Doom at the time of writing this and it really shows. If you comment and leave me your song I'll read it and comment it. To make everything clear, "E" is the name of the rapper who is recording the mix CD (Full stage name is E Tha Trufebringa, which is a stupid name I know).

Rhymes violent like Steven Seagal// Your too young kid, go play T-ball// Feeling weightless? This is a hip-hop free-fall// I see all like the Creator// If your a cunning linguist I'm a master debator// Here's something to pump you up like inflators// This track is so harsh, I thought I heard a pig squeal// At the airport, conceal// All drug paraphenalia// Pipes in the suitcase, crackrock taped to the genetalia// Land safely and take orders like Aye-aye sailor//

E takes time, no need to rush in// Let things heat up like sponatenous combustion// You in too heavy to pack this light// Watch out for my dog, he's a barker like the Price is Right// But it's worse than his bite// Are you six years old or are your pants just too tight??// Alright, E equals MC squared// Running loose like Jason Voorhees, makin these other MC's scared//

Bringer of bad news, like the National Inquirer// Get down with my secretary, file a lawsuit and fire her// Other MC's aspire to affilliate with E// But my mob is deep like Shook Ones Pt. 3// It's all about me, me, me// What kid? Mind your manners// I think we should Judge Judy so the critics can pan her// E is a hulk, incredible like Bruce Banner// Treat this rap **** like a queen, I feed her grapes and fan her// I'm through with all the playful banter// I'm fixin' to be the first black superhero since the Green Lantern//


....So, yeah there it is. Again you can see where I drawed heavily (a bit too much probably) from Doom's writing style, with a lot of non-sequitorial rhymes, so... comments?

EDIT: Oh and I'm aware that the cunning linguist/master debator line is a rip from Austin Powers, I'm not trying to pass that line off as my own.
Comin' straight out of Compton, with a loose cannon. Smoke big green, call it Bruce Banner.

"Hey son, how many girls called you today? Zero? Oh and how about yesterday? Uh... Zero? Well son, you know what they say. Zero plus zero equals FAG."
Last edited by HelpImARock at Jul 15, 2006,
#2
"Rhymes violent like Steven Seagal" that is byfar the best opening rap lyric ever.

Im usuauly not to big on rap but that was pretty good.
#4
i do listen to rap when i'm with my hood friends lol. contains lots of well put media references.
#5
Great job! I liked it a lot. I really should get into rap more, the only rap I listen to is Digable Planets.

I really like the rhyming. Some of it seems forced when read, but I think this as well as a lot of other rap doesn't translate well on paper. Good job.
#6
^^Well if you do like this piece and you want to get into more rap, I suggest looking into MF Doom, he's an underground rapper but I'm sure you've heard of him at least once before. The thing you need to know is he uses about a thousand different aliases when he releases albums. Try and get his 1999 album, Operation: Doomsday, which was released under the name MF Doom or his most recent release, under the name Dangerdoom called The Mouse And The Mask.
Comin' straight out of Compton, with a loose cannon. Smoke big green, call it Bruce Banner.

"Hey son, how many girls called you today? Zero? Oh and how about yesterday? Uh... Zero? Well son, you know what they say. Zero plus zero equals FAG."
#8
Quote by HelpImARock
^^Well if you do like this piece and you want to get into more rap, I suggest looking into MF Doom, he's an underground rapper but I'm sure you've heard of him at least once before. The thing you need to know is he uses about a thousand different aliases when he releases albums. Try and get his 1999 album, Operation: Doomsday, which was released under the name MF Doom or his most recent release, under the name Dangerdoom called The Mouse And The Mask.

Thanks. I'll check him out.