#1
My valentine has adoring eyes
I love it when she shouts and sighs
I love it when she laughs and cries
But when those eyes connect with mine
Its more than love and its hard to find
I swore to never leave her
She swore to never leave me either

Shes standing in the doorway leading to my own death
I step right in every time as i think i take my last breath
There is something in thoes eyes
And it took me awhile to realize
That everytime i look in them
My heart just simply dies

At night i look at the stars in the sky
as they remind me of your eyes
you said you wouldn't leave me
so i had no fear
but my eyes have cried their last tears
I want to see those eyes one last time
the way they were back when you were mine

Shes standing in the doorway leading to my own death
I step right in every time as i think i take my last breath
There is something in thoes eyes
And it took me awhile to realize
That everytime i look in them
My heart just simply dies

i'll always remember the twinkle in your eye
and the smile on your face as i kissed you goodbye
as i kissed you goodbye

Shes standing in the doorway leading to my own death
I step right in every time as i think i take my last breath
There is something in thoes eyes
And it took me awhile to realize
That everytime i look in them
My heart just simply dies

(This is my first post, and i would really love to hear what you guys have to say about it!)

-Matt
#2
Amazing, dude. This has potential for a good song. So choose carefully which music you want to go along with it.
#4
hmmm, i dont know. I like the lyrics a lot, but sounds more like a poem to me... i dont know how it would sound acoustic, got any ideas on it?


Cheese ...... $3.00
Coffee ...... $1.00 - $3.00
Jack Sparrow bathed in cheese and holding a cup of coffee in his hands..... Priceless
#5
I think it would sound pretty good acoustic. The only slight thing I can think of that might be an issue is the "just" in the last line of the chorus, it sounds like it might throw stuff off.

Anyways, I feel where you're comin' from man, and keep up the good work.
#7
Looks great. Your a good writer so keep it up. Hope to see more of your writing.
#8
good song

i like how you move from talking to us to talking to her

crit for crit

"Someone I can Trust
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#10
I agree it's got potential.... I think it sounds more like a poem than a song, but I'm sure you have something in mind that makes it more song-like. It keeps going back to her eyes, which is cool and all... not the most interesting piece out there, but it's not like it's some strange new subject. Good for what it is, which is all that matters. Good job, keep it up.. knowing this is your first post, you have some potential as a writer...

crit for crit?