#1
This is my first song in this style so....tell me what you think and i'll comment on urs

You've done these things before
Stabbed me in the back
Left me for dead
I'm through with all the treachery
And now i'm through with you too

Teh last nail in my coffin
This is the last straw
The last nail in the coffin
This is our last resort

I'm tired of games you play
Tired to the bone
This has to stop
You need to go let my lead my life
and how long until you get the point

The last nail in my coffin
This is the last straw
The last nail in the coffin
This is our last resort

Teh last nail in my coffin
Why can't you leave me be
The last nail in the coffin
I'm sick of you, your through with me
#2
I don´t like the first verse, it´s kinda messy. But the other verses are ok and the chorus is real good.

Really liked the title too.
Some live, some die. And the rest of us just keep fighting eachother.
#5
I agree, i dont like the firse verse. Its not bad but the ryhming could use work in some parts.
QUOTE]

Thanx...i'll touch it up a bit.....i didn't really want it too rhyme a whole lot...not my thing
#7
Hmmm...its not bad...but i think you should change the tiltle to "6 feet under"

and i dont kno what everyone is talking about the rhyming...i cant even fine more than 2 lines that rhyme...haha...

im curious to see what you change...

crit fo crit?
crit my rhymes?:

Lets Get Drunk and Fuck.

Subtle Arrogance

Do you realize, that i can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans?

Quote by Shaepwnsyou
They're very religious, so they have butt sex to save their virginity.
#9
Quote by a-user-name
The talk about the rhyming is whether there should be more than those 2 rhyming lines...



AHA!!!!!

i get it now...haha

i like it how it is...
crit my rhymes?:

Lets Get Drunk and Fuck.

Subtle Arrogance

Do you realize, that i can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans?

Quote by Shaepwnsyou
They're very religious, so they have butt sex to save their virginity.