#1
This is a newer song...it's not done-this is just the first draft, but I liked it so I figured, what the hell.

[edit-I changed the lyrics a bit. Also, It's mean to be played sort of like a Bob Dylan tune, with a simple acoustic guitar and such.]

from the deepest depths of all you hide
lies the last remaining will to confide
it whispers to withold all the old
but to make sure your heart is never cold

out on lonely souls' lane youll find
a mistery so fair it challenged the mind
so venture out tonight if you dare
and discover for yourself what's waiting there

look to the east where the branches graze the sky
run to it with dreams for which you don't have to lie
and as the passed cobbled stones glisten in the shade
know that hope is a good thing that'll never fade

as the ages pass and the sand sprinkles through your hands
a longing aches for a lost and forgotten promised land
out of breath and running through the haze
dont lose those thoughts that set your passion ablaze

sway with the leaves that are rocked back and forth by the wind
maybe they'll give you something new to belive in
there's a day coming soon in which you will have to decide
if you desire a home or a place to hide

out on lonely souls' lane youll find
a mistery so fair it challenged the mind
so venture out tonight if you dare
and find out for yourself what's waiting there


I'd really appreciate comments. I return the favor if you'd like, too.
Last edited by Ezra_Zimmerman at Jul 25, 2006,
#2
hmm. . . it's reele well written . . . . i can deffinatly see similarities in the song u did, and mine that u critiqued. . . . i reele like the last 2 lines of the last verse. . flowed very well. . . you imagery is good. . . but the song in general. . . it was hard for me to see what exactly you were writting about. . . . i can deffinatly see this going to some nice acoustic guitar, but i think is it went a little heavier it would work too . . . . .

i think it's reele good. . . . just try to stick to a main theme. . . . 8/10 thanks i enjoyed it
And My Soul From Out That Shadow That Lies Floating On The Floor, Shall Be Lifted. . . Nevermore.
The Raven -Edgar Allen Poe
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#3
Good song. Well writen. It would be really nice on acoustic (and maybe a little electric on clean setting).

PS: Other songs are in my sig.
#4
Its very good.. however... i didnt really catch a good melody in my mind... but dont let that change the way you write


Crit mine plz

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=400999
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