#1
I wrote this song about a year ago and thought, since I have nothing much to do and I like the song, what people here think of it. Nothing too clever or complex, just written out of emotion.

Look Inside and find yourself
I don't know if I can help
Would you know when you have lost the fight?

When you see him in your mind
Do emotions make you blind?
What does he have that makes you feel good?

Does he ever feel the same?
Is it driving you insane?
Does he ever say to you,
Darling yes I love you too?

When you're lost in disarray
Is he there to show the way?
Does he lead you to a better place?

And when you look him in the eyes
Is it love or only lies?
Will it be the same as it is now?

Chorus

Look inside and find yourself
I don't know if I can help
Would you know when you have lost the war?

And when you see him standing there
Do you know his love is fair?
Does he make you think about him now?

Chorus
Quote by ACG

In conclusion, I'm gay.


Mud Sergeant of the Primus Sucks Club. PM StratEnRegalia to join.

"Member of the Frank Zappa Fan Club. PM deadhead313313 to join."
#2
Someone's emoooooooooo

pretty though
xx
Quote by westo
If you have sex with her the baby will become pregnant. Then the fetus will have a fetus. And if you keep doing it it'll never end! It'll be a fetus in a fetus in a fetus in a fetus in a fetus in a fetus in a fetus in a fetus in a fetus.
#3
Not bad.
My Gear:
Ibanez RG 320 Ltd.
Line 6 Spider II Amp 30 Watt
#4
This isnt bad at all, in fact its a nice smooth piece of writing and whilst you dont break any lyrical boundaries and as much as i hate the word-it is a little cliche to be fair, its confident and it flows well. I particularly like these lines...

Quote by Lacquer_Head

When you're lost in disarray
Is he there to show the way?
Does he lead you to a better place?


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=574414 crit for crit?
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
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