#1
Erm...here's a song that I've already recorded twice in the past. Hopefully the third time's a charm

http://horriblemusic.dmusic.com

I believe it's called Follow or Fall (third and hopefully final version) or something to that extent.

MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN TO THE RIGHT VERSION

Oh, and btw, the song is quite dynamic, never really repeating anything more than once (aka no repeating guitar parts) so it'd be nice if you could listen to the song in its entirety so as to give me feedback on it wholistically

Crit for crit.
Last edited by yawn at Jul 23, 2006,
#2
hmmm

Its decent, I listen to the other versions, you need to work on singing, all your doing is basically talking. It just sounds off to me, like the lyrics and vocal melody dont flow with the song at all, Even with the new version, I imagine it would sound a little weird.
#3
^ Yeah, the second version is completely out of whack in terms of vocal melody relating to the musical melody.

Everyone ignore the other two versions
#4
hey man, thanks for the crit...what im referring in the title is when people speak of "lost generations" such as the casualties of the WWI era and so on, they refer to a generation lost due to some outside factor they cant be blamed for, whatever it may be, but im implying this generation has been lost and it has no excuse, like getting lost in your own house...sorry i wanted to use that title for a long time haha....anyways on to your crit, i love the banging drums at the beginning and fast plucking, i thought it was pretty sweet and in your face...i like the little melody line and you seem to sync up with the drums well most of the time...the only part i wasnt so fond of was the area around 2: 05 i think where it sounded a bit out of tune, but other than that i thought it was real cool! thanks again for the crit/comment!
#5
lol it sounds like a death metal song with normal vocals . I cant map out the genre of this song dude, It was preety cool , i enjoyed it a lot .
The only piece of advice i can give you is find another way to record the vocals cause they sound louder than the other instruments , or remix it and decrease the volume of the vocals a little bit and it will be killer.
Thanks for critting my song .
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
#6
^ Erm...which version did you listen to? Cause the third version doesn't have any vocals

Um, make sure you guys are listening to the right version - there's four up there, but only one of them is the new one (the "third and hopefully final version").
#7
Hahahha, your DMusic URL made me lol.

And maybe you should delete the older versions.

Onto the song...

The drum intro is awesome, if you programmed those yourself than you did a good job and they sound fairly realistic too which is always a great thing.

The tremelo picking in the beginning is great. Really solid.

The song gets kind of weird when the brass comes in, at least I think it's brass, but whatever that is, it sounds out of tune. Actually on second listen I think it's just an overdriven guitar.

Actually doooood, what happenned with that entire middle part where the drums stop?

It sounds out of tune and out of time much in contrast to the intro which was perfect.

The part starting at 3:07 is pretty cool.

It's a little repetitive to be an instrumental though.

Overall, I think you should throw out that weird middle part because it wasn't played well and doesnt fit with the song anyway.

But the rest sounds good to me.

Nice job.
#8
I didn't hear any vocals?

What?
I'm not very active here on UG currently.
I'm a retired Supermod off to the greener pastures of the real world.
#9
^ Wuh?

Yeah, it doesn't have any vocals yet. The other poster was critiquing an older version that has vocals, but this newer one doesn't yet.
#10
Love the drums. Nice big drum sound.

The intro had me, the tremelo picking was very good.

The weird brassy guitar sound has its ups and down. Starting at 3:08ish it's awesome. Other parts it seems out of tune.

There is one section in the middle that seems very out of tune, which is unfortunate given how much I like most everything else.

Sum-up: killer intro and very nice outro, just maybe touch up some spots in the middle.
(Slightly outdated) Electronic and classical compositions by m'self: Check 'em out
#11
Ah, I guess I'll take out the middle part. That part was actually copied and pasted from earlier versions of the song.

One question though: was the out-of-tune part just that main riff without the drumming, or does it include the tremlolo-picking solo that immediately follows it? Cause both of those parts are old.
#12
Dude, my mum thought you were a chart topping band..

Just thought I'd let you know you're getting many many different audiences.

Aroudn 3.10 I think it goes a bit.. wobbly..? But when the hi-Hat comes in it re-catches itself. Does that make sense?
#14
The out of tune stuff starts at around 1:25 or so, it's the upper guitar melody. If you rerecorded that I'm sure it would sound good.

There is also an out of tune part without the drums.

The tremelo picked solo didn't sound too bad to me, I think it could stay.
(Slightly outdated) Electronic and classical compositions by m'self: Check 'em out
#15
Quote by ShizNick
the third version would sound good, but I dislike your tone a lot. I don't know what it is but I just don't like it.. haha

Musically it was good but if you're tone was better it would be good. And jesus you are good at making those programmed drum things.. good job on that

crit for crit? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=399287
Ah, sadly that's the best tone I could get. Damn cheap equipment
#16
like the drums in the intro - but they take up a lot of space in the sound spectrum once the other instruments kick in. can barely hear the guitar. drumming is kind of taking control of the song. like the riff with the high lead line - 1:30 or so. the transitions between riffs are a bit sudden. i appreciate the progressive aspects of your music, which is what i also go for, but the segments have to make sense together, they have to flow. try to bridge the gaps between all your different parts. i love how the song is NOT repetitive. It really kept me listening - vocals would work great with this song. Great job, really.

crit? i think we have somewhat similar goals... https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=395371
#17
Quote by fluffylump2
i appreciate the progressive aspects of your music, which is what i also go for, but the segments have to make sense together, they have to flow. try to bridge the gaps between all your different parts. i love how the song is NOT repetitive.
Yeah, I just can't stand to record a song that repeats itself over and over again. When I'm listening to a song, I'll listen to the intro, verse, and chorus, but if the next verse and choruses are musically going to be the same things I've already heard, I usually just skip to the next track. Which is sad, really, cause then I'm usually missing out on a noteworthy bridge

Anyways, thanks for the crit =)
#18
thanks for the crit. Great drumming in this song, the guitar sounds good when it comes in but get kinda boring with no vocals. Nonetheless great tremelo picking on the fast parts. You've got some wierd parts in there where the guitar doesn't really sound in key, but I'm guessing that it is supposed to be some kind of melody to run along with the vocals. I like the parts with lead guitar better later in the song. Overall it's a good backing track. Not that interesting alone but with the right vocals I think this would be a great one.
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