#1
This is something I just wrote on the spot, it's kind of disjointed, but I thought that sme of the lines sounded like they might be decent, just wnated to get some opinions. crit 4 crit

They love the rise but even more they always seem to stress the fall
The clowns are dancing applying their makeup getting ready for the festival
The Christmas tree lies in storage all but forgotten in July
And the tooth fairy dies in silence in the back of the mind of the little boy
Wishing for change hoping to stay but knowing it cannot be much longer
?Til the grip lets out and it begins to shout as it falls back into the cipher
Seize the day is what they say but the day is much faster than the average
A hunting party led by thirty of the queens all but finest
A glimmer of hope in the elephant graveyard cuts through the resignation
A damsel cries from way up high but can?t be heard over the silence
A bag full of wishes bursts at the seams resulting in some mixed up dreams
Grasping at straws blindly reaching grabbing onto anything
#5
i love this, it all fits together so well, my favoruote bit is

Seize the day is what they say but the day is much faster than the average

it clicks so well, its gr8, very ver ygood, keep uop the good work

crit4crit , links in my sig
PSN: Noverion
#6
yeah just agreeing...its really good and this is a cheap crit but aint there much to crit, this is a good song

the latest is Just Tell Me to Wait, in my sig