#1
Well im starting to lose my touch in writing meaningful and free flowing lyrics. Im the lead vocalist and guitar of my band Soul Kenetics. I was wondering if you guys could crit my lyrics and i will accept negative and positive comments

Remember when we used to be together,
we both thought we?d stay it forever and ever,
But one night you seemed so shallow towards me,
Everything between us has just turned black baby.

Can we go back to the memories of your heart,
Lets go back, lets do this from the start,
Please give us a chance, all I want is your support,
So give me your hand don?t let it fall apart.

Why must you do this, It seems so immature.
What happened to our love, it used to be my cure
Remember how I said id bleed for you,
Well now it seems that those words are true.

Can we go back to the memories of your heart,
Lets go back, lets do this from the start,
Please give us a chance, all I want is your support,
So give me your hand don?t let it fall apart.

(Solo)

Can we go back to the memories of your heart,
Lets go back, lets do this from the start,
Please give us a chance, all I want is your support,
So give me your hand don?t let it fall apart.

(slow)
Lying on the bed, Im already half dead.
Beautiful as she was, it was over.
I was dead forever in her head.
I bled just for her to survive.

Im not too wrapped with this song but its about me and my girlfriend breaking up last night so please any criticism will be much appreciated so i can help find myself again.
#4
Push it out
fake a smile
Avert disaster
just in time
I need a drink
cause in a while
Worthless answer from friends of mind
It's dumb to ask, cool to ignore
Girls posess me, but they're never mine
I made my entrance, avoided hazards
Checked my engine, I fell behind
(da da, da da, da da, da da da.)
I fell behind
(da da, da da, da da, da da da)

(chorus)

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause i'm a ****ing boy


Remember when I was in the grocery store
now's my time
Lost the words,lost my nerve, lost the girl, left the line
I would wish upon a star, but that star, it doesn't shine
So read my book with a boring ending
A short story of a lonely guy
(da da, da da, da da, da da da)
I fell behind
(da da, da da, da da, da da da)

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause I'm a ****ing boy

She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside
I'm always nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared to move, cause i'm still just a stupid worthless boy