#1
this is something i wrote when i was in a trance. im starting up a trance poetry books (thats why theres no name), and this is one that i wrote about two nights ago. please tell me what you think of it, because i dont know if its good enough to publish it.


the inside of the circle
is a realm unknown.
its were yesterday and
tomarrows past are blown.
beyond the creatures
of your own sound mind,
is what features
a wrinkle in time.

throught the foilage of thoughts
across your mangled mind
your sorrowful past rots
in an attempt to find...
... finda a precious moment
like a sweet drop of wine,
lost forever-
in the wrinkle of time.
:stickpoke It's Alive! AHHHHHHH!!!!
pac-man ate my stash


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Member of the Frank Zappa Fan Club. PM deadhead313313 to join
Last edited by Pride _And_Joy at Jul 18, 2006,
#2
I liked it, I just felt it wasn't the strongest of pieces, maybe th eimagery could be improved in the first stanza, but yeh, overall I think it ws a decent effort and a good piece.

Nice job.
#3
yeah, i need to work on it a bit. im trying to see if i should publish that poetry book
:stickpoke It's Alive! AHHHHHHH!!!!
pac-man ate my stash


Founder of ZOSO Jimmy Page Fan Club __PM me to join

Member of the Frank Zappa Fan Club. PM deadhead313313 to join
Last edited by Pride _And_Joy at Jul 20, 2006,