#1
This is my second song I have ever written. I don't think I am very good at all, but I would like to know what I can do to improve and to make it sound better. Also, don't just tell me how much I suck but help me improve.

Away

verse 1
Wake up and open your eyes
Its triggered, time to use your lies
open your window, let the smoke escape
stop time, and get it on tape

Chorus (x2)

let your mind free
let it fly away
take me to that place
there's only one way

verse 2

Your sleepless with sleep
you don't know who to be
you're your own thing
just lacking some sting
your the rebel without a cause
faker than studio applause

Chorus (x2)


Just try to help me out anyway. Like for expample now that I have read it for a second time, the rhyming pattern kind of sounds lame, so can anyone help me out?

Thanks in Advance
#2
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