#1
Please give me a minute and crit this, it's slow folksy/bluesy rock...

Gone Away (working title)-

The wind blows slowly by,
And the sun lifts off a new horizon,
I watch the sky,
And rise up from were I'd been lyin'
The birds are in the trees,
Singin' about better times than these,

And so I cry,
For a world that's lost in sorrow,
They fight today,
And put off lovin' for tomorrow,
So I turn my head and sigh,
'Cause I've left that world behind,

And life rolls on,
On and on,
On and on,
Right by me.

A slow stream passes through,
And the sunshine dances on its water.
Crystal blue,
And I swim with Mother Nature's daughter.
Then she wades on out and sings,
About better times than these.

So I know it's true,
And too many tears've been shed for my part,
What can I do?
'Cause they're enough to fill the hole in my heart.
So I've left that world behind,
To save you grief and peace of mind

And life rolls on,
On and on,
On and on,
Right by me.

Ooooo
Right by me....


Just let me know what you think. Give me feedback positive and negative, they'll both help alot. Also, is the "tears to fill the hole in my heart" idea cliche? Rock and Rule!
#2
"And so I cry,
For a world that's lost in sorrow,
They fight today,
And put off lovin' for tomorrow,
So I turn my head and sigh,
'Cause I've left that world behind,"

Damn dude, that is realy nice. Its a good song, The whole folk thing would work realy well with this. Good job
#3
sounds bob dylan inspired. i like it in some parts but others are a little cliche. 7/10. would you mind reviewing my latest? its called jersey dvil.
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