#1
It's been a longtime since I have done anything to this one. So here are some changes.

I've been here too long
In this godforsaken place
That they call a city

In a place where everything is dead
Including the hair on your head
It make you crazy
Ohh, yeah crazy

(Chorus)
I'm in a crazy time
In a crazy place
Where you don't know who you are
And seem to have lost your mind
Because it makes you want to scream

Well you may call me senseless
But I think I'm quite calm
Even though everything is wrong

Chorus

Now I will just go
And try to keep on living
In this place I can not leave

Crazy Time
Crazy Place
Everything is crazy
Last edited by Quik Axe Player at Sep 23, 2006,
#3
I'm here man.lol. I like it. It's true that things here on earth are CRAZY. You point that out very well. Though I think it needs to have a little more rhyme ( just my opinion, I don't know everything). Also add another verse and/or a bridge for length and it would be great. Keep it rollin.
#5
I've been here too long
In this solitary place
That they call a city
good, i like this, it actually is going to depend on the music wether its a good start or not. middle line sounds wierd, can you change it?

In a place where everything is dead
Including the hair on your head
It make you crazy
Ohh, yeah crazy
its pretty good

(Chorus)
I'm in a crazy time
In a crazy place
Where everything is different
Because it makes you want to scream
ok, for a chorus its good, buti dont feel the where everithins differnt line, sorry

Well you may call me wacky
But I think I'm quite calm
Even though everything is wrong
wacky? try crazy, wait you used that too much, try another word

Chorus

Crazy Time
Crazy Place
Everything is crazy
good, good way to end this

overall is nothing awsome but its decent, i want to see it if you plan on changing it still, it has potential to be pretty good, but you should still work on it man,
#6
I've been here too long
In this godforsaken place
That they call a city

In a place where everything is dead
Including the hair on your head
It make you crazy
Ohh, yeah crazy

(Chorus)
I'm in a crazy time
In a crazy place
Where you don't know who you are
And seem to have lost your mind
Because it makes you want to scream

Well you may call me senseless
But I think I'm quite calm
Even though everything is wrong

Chorus

Crazy Time
Crazy Place
Everything is crazy
----------------------------------------
Okay, made some chance, tell me what you think.
Last edited by Quik Axe Player at Jul 20, 2006,
#7
woah, its a lot a lot better... wierd...i really like the chorus now, good job on these quick changes, great job,
#14
I had a writers block also not long ago. And its a terrible thing!
But you've done not bad with this piece of lyrics. Thoough nothing seems to rhyme everything seems to fit I think.
But I didn't like the words just smashed at the reader without any context in the end.
I mean alright, it described the feelings of the narrator n stuff but its not good as an endnig. Sounds like you didnt want to write anymore got bored or frustraded and just stopped writing.
#15
"well you may call me insane"? I agree with AmplifySilence, wacky isn't a good word, and using crazy would be crazy. I really like this one. Kind of like Bob Dylan (in feel)-it's a little fun but a little serious at the same time. The contrasting qualities work really well in this one.

I think I could tell you have writer's block, though. It felt like you were saying two things, which worked, but needed to be fixed (possibly with another verse before that ending?) I mean, it worked, but it felt a little shifty, you know? But, really it's great. Other than working out that, I don't think there's anything you have to do.
#16
It's been a longtime since I have done anything to this one. So here are some changes.

I've been here too long
In this godforsaken place
That they call a city

In a place where everything is dead
Including the hair on your head
It make you crazy
Ohh, yeah crazy

(Chorus)
I'm in a crazy time
In a crazy place
Where you don't know who you are
And seem to have lost your mind
Because it makes you want to scream

Well you may call me senseless
But I think I'm quite calm
Even though everything is wrong

Chorus

Now I will just go
And try to keep on living
In this place I can not leave

Crazy Time
Crazy Place
Everything is crazy
#17
I love your song, it's awesome. Keep up the nice work.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep