#1
I wrote this song and it kind of helped me to escape and let my feelings go!

I started to write this song when I was at home, so sick of studying, ...
Then I made a big trip in car around canada, usa and mexico...
I finished the song right after these 8 months of pure liberation.

note:
Actually I'm a French Canadian. My first language is French, quite normal for a french canadian.

So if there some words or sentences that I cannot say, tell me.


AWAY


I know it?s time to make a choice
Pack my bag and follow the voice
Destination is not so clear
Just don?t want to stay here
It?s not that I don?t love you mom
I don?t forget where I came from
But now it?s time for me to move
I have nothing to loose

It?s time - to pass the wall
I?m not - going to fall
Life is - too short to wait
One day - it could be too late

Now I want to feel the distance
I need a new experience
I don?t want to stay on the side
I?m ready for a ride
Many things that I wanna see
Many places where I wanna be
It?s in my skin, it?s in my mind
And now I choose my line


Chorus:
(away) A thousand miles from here
(can?t stay) Overcome all my fears
(away) Trying to escape far, far, far so faraway
(away) Somewhere further than heaven
(can?t stay) My wills won?t be broken
(away) Trying to escape far, far, far so faraway


Once on the road I won?t look back
There?s nothing wrong there?s nothing sad
And now my trip has just begun
My wings are wide open
Where do I go? I?m not quite sure
But I will write another chapter
One which I will never forget
I know it?ll be perfect

Can?t wait - to cross the door
It?s what - I?ve waiting for
It?s so - good to be free
Free to - cross the country


I am ready to play the game
Cause people here all look the same
I?m sick and bored of the same view
I just want something new
Feels great when I sat on my car
Accelerate going so far
Discovering a brand new world
It?s something special


Chorus


Someone say that voyage form youth
I tell you that he said the truth
So much pictures behind my eyes
Pictures that you can?t buy
Cause I?m back with my memories
Back with so much special stories
With great moments stick in my brain
Moments I can?t explain


My heart - remained over there
Spirit - still in the air
Nothing - like a road trip
With a - special friendship
This is - making me glad
There is - nothing to add


DEAD END
#3
I like it. I am taking French in school, so could you translate it in French so I can see if I can read it
#4
sounds like


LOIN

Je sais qu?il est temps de faire un choix
Faire mon sac and suivre la voix
La destination n?est pas très claire
Je ne veux juste pas rester ici
Ce n?est pas que je ne t?aime pas maman
Je n?oublie pas d?où je viens
Mais, il est maintenant temps de bouger
Je n?ai rien à perdre

C?est le temps de passer le mur
Je ne vais pas tomber
La vie est trop courte pour attendre
Un jour, il pourrait être trop tard

Maintenant, je veux sentir la distance
J?ai besoin d?une nouvelle expérience
Je ne veux pas rester sur le côté
Je suis prêt pour une virée
Tellement de choses que je veux voir
Tellement d?endroit où je veux être
C?est dans ma peau, c?est dans mon esprit
Et maintenant je choisi ma ligne


Refrain :
(loin) À mille miles d?ici
(ne peux rester) Surmonter toutes mes peurs
(loin) Essai d'échapper loin, loin, loin, tellement loin


Une fois sur la route je ne regarderai pas en arrière
Il n?y a rien de mal, il n?y a rien de triste
Et maintenant mon voyage vient juste de commencer
Mes ailes sont grandes ouvertes
Où vais-je? Je n?en suis pas sur
Mais je vais écrire un autre chapitre
Un que je n?oublierai jamais
Je sais que se sera parfait

Ne peux attendre pour passer la porte
C?est ce que j?attendais
C?est si bon d?être libre
Libre de traverser le pays

Je suis prêt à jouer le jeu
Parce que les gens ici se ressemble tous
Je suis malade et ennuyé de la même vue
Je veux juste quelque chose de nouveau
C?est bon de s?assoir dans ma voiture
Accélérer, aller si loin
Découvrir un nouveau monde
C?est quelque chose de spéciale

Refrain

Quelqu?un à dit que les voyages formaient la jeunesse
Je te dis qu?il disait la vérité
Tellement d?images derrière mes yeux
Des images que tu ne peux pas acheter
Car je suis de retour avec souvenirs
De retour avec tellement d?histoires spéciales
Avec de bons moments prit dans mon cerveau
Des moments que je ne peux pas expliquer

Mon c?ur est resté là-bas
L?esprit est encore dans l?air
Rien comme un road trip
Avec une amitié bien spéciale
Cela me rend heureux
Il n?y a rien à ajouter


Cul de sac
#6
i liked it, even in french, possibly more poetic in french, tho would work either way. but i know its a song, so erm, although its very personal, it works really well, without descending into a parody as songs like tht often do. there are no real bumps thru the whole length of the song, and although some phrases are a little unusual because french is your firt language, (my mum has the same problem, the phrases are correct but prolly not how someone whos first language was english would say it) i think that this only adds to the personal an reflective nature of the song. great job dude, keep it up 8.5/10

please crit mine:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=400649
thanx
#7
i failed french class damn . . .
i really like the chorus and how you split the lines into two parts
#10
I liked it... i could feel the emotion and i wouldnt really have noticed that you were french Canadian... I give it an 8.5/10

crit mine
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=400999
Quote by jakeylee111
You do realise only Ug's horny male teens will come in here, right?
Which is why i came in here....

Founder of the Fullmetal Alchemest RulesClub Place in sig to join
Quote by AdayTripper
No porn, no fap fap.
#12
im not gonna sugar coat this....

It's not really good, it's alright for maybe a beginer songwriter, but your rhymes are so plain.... what i mean by that is that i can see them coming a mile away

youth - truth
eye - buy
game - same
car - far

dude, i can't feel the "emotion" that some of these people can i guess....
but hey keep writing and youll probably get better....

HELPFUL HINT: Expand your vocabulary
If you want to shine like the sun first you must burn like it.
#13
I like this song a lot. You wrote a good song without being weird and abstract like almost everyone else on this site. cool
#15
Quote by WOODnotes
I like this song a lot. You wrote a good song without being weird and abstract like almost everyone else on this site. cool


abstract lyrics arent neccesarily bad...
i need to get a better signature.
#16
Quote by zero27

HELPFUL HINT: Expand your vocabulary


Thanks dude for the HINT!
But remember that I am FRENCH canadian wich means that I speak FRENCH.
I do have more vocabulary in French than I have in English.
I just wrote the song with the words I knew.
Could you write a song in both language...?????
Anyway, I accept the crit and I'll work on my rhymes for the next ones (if there are)
Thanks for having read tho...
#17
Quote by FridayFace
Thanks dude for the HINT!
But remember that I am FRENCH canadian wich means that I speak FRENCH.
I do have more vocabulary in French than I have in English.
I just wrote the song with the words I knew.
Could you write a song in both language...?????
Anyway, I accept the crit and I'll work on my rhymes for the next ones (if there are)
Thanks for having read tho...



hell yeah you can write a song in two languges, just check out Beck or The Mars Volta....

and hey could you check out my "[No Title]" if you get the chance....

edit: if you were actullly asking if i could write a song in a different language then...............no
If you want to shine like the sun first you must burn like it.
Last edited by zero27 at Jul 27, 2006,