#1
Fluid beauty courses off flowing backs.
Dry soft limbs relax, tense, collapse.

Taut spines, and eyes cast skywards,
Wordless, beauteous, as she slithers out of

A red, tight cheerleader outfit.
Well, we've all got our comforts.

(And if it's free at a mouse-click, well, that's my cross to bear.)
"You can never quarantine the past."
#5
pornography isn't like that, its like sluts getting banged in the ass, moaning, and sucking dick. what ur poem discribes is more sex.
~To live is to die~
#6
The whole idea is that the poet justifies that fact that he watches porn by making it poetic.

I thought that was obvious.
"You can never quarantine the past."
#7
Quote by broken_bottles
The whole idea is that the poet justifies that fact that he watches porn by making it poetic.

I thought that was obvious.

That's what I thought when I read it.
Last edited by MastaBassist10 at Jul 19, 2006,
#10
ace. totally ace. Love the subject, love the style. You sir, are a great writer.
i would rather staple my own hands to a train, than pray on knees that judge and blame.
#14
Quote by merkalos666
Hahahaha. Would anyone else get it?

Does it matter? If you don't get it, oh well, that's your problem, you know?
#16
Well, I agree with what's above me. I think it is great until you read about cheerleader. I also think it ruins the flow and they way the other lines make it sound like beauty. Besides the cheerleader part I like it. Keep up the good work
#17
Let's not all get offended at the cheerleader slithering out of her outfit now... I actually thought that line was quite clever, perhaps as a reference to the often times comical fetishes people tend to have (given the next line
Well, we've all got our comforts.
I thought the meaning of that line is obvious). As much as I would have enjoyed to see you go off and expound upon this piece, I think its brilliant as is.
#18
Its really good, except(like has been said) that cheerleader line really disrupts the flow. I would try moving the words 'out of' down to that line.

Not to sound picky, but in the last line in the parenthesis, you use the word 'well' for the second time in two lines. Try changing it to 'then' or something along that line.

Other than those suggestions, I really liked this, especially the last line.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#19
Thanks for all the comments.
The cheerleader reference is typical of my writing, again using the perspective of a poet. The idea is to blow the beauty of the lines away by putting in such a crass ref. See my other pieces to see what I mean.
"You can never quarantine the past."