#1
i just wrote this one a few minutes ago. everyone here in the states is familiar with the tyranny of clear channel radio. this is my assault on them. theres a bit of a rant at the end (ala dead kennedys mtv get off the air), i dont know if ill leave that in the final product but i thought it was kinda cool. crit for crit.

Clear Channel

I don?t wanna be myself,
I wanna model someone else,
I wanna listen to the radio,
And go all their favorite shows

So come on baby,
Do the Clear Channel,
Come on baby,
Do the clear channel

God I love that censorship,
Can?t say words like ?f*ck? and ?s*it,?
Gotta gotta be real cool,
That?s what I learned in business school

So come on baby,
Do the Clear Channel,
Come on baby,
Do the Clear Channel

Our infallible corporate gods have decided that bands with talent, originality and integrity should fall by the wayside and be replaced with bands that fit the mold or are ready to adapt to it. Forget about any changes in the near future, it?s just not worth the risk when there?s nice, safe bands out there that are ready to be censored, chopped and compressed to fit today?s demanding FM radio marketplace. Have a great day and God bless capitalism.
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
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Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
Last edited by wingedgopher at Jul 20, 2006,
#2
holy crap man... I was thinking about how much I hate clear channel lately and that someone should write a song about it... swear to god.. that's weird and cool. The rant at the end could be good, depending on how you do it.... rants either really help or completely ruin the song... but it's good to see you looking to an awesome band like the dead kennedys. The only thing i'm not big on is the "come on baby do the clear channel" line... I think you could write something better perhaps.. to me it throws it off a little. I think if you fixed it, you'd have one more killer song to add to your resume... good job overall, keep it up.
#3
Quote by a-user-name
holy crap man... I was thinking about how much I hate clear channel lately and that someone should write a song about it... swear to god.. that's weird and cool. The rant at the end could be good, depending on how you do it.... rants either really help or completely ruin the song... but it's good to see you looking to an awesome band like the dead kennedys. The only thing i'm not big on is the "come on baby do the clear channel" line... I think you could write something better perhaps.. to me it throws it off a little. I think if you fixed it, you'd have one more killer song to add to your resume... good job overall, keep it up.


thanks man, i wanted it to look like i was trying to sell it. i wanted it to look like a dance, ya know? in either case thanks for the crit. ive already done both of your linked songs, so what do you want me to crit?
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
#4
in that case, the line isn't as bad as I had thought... I see what you mean. I'm still not in love with it on paper, but we all know that with the right music a poorly written song can sound good... and this isn't poorly written... thanks for the crits on my songs by the way, I don't have anything else finished right now, and I can't post another until next week anyways, so you don't have to worry about it at all... what kind of song do you think this'll be anyways, punk?
#5
Quote by a-user-name
in that case, the line isn't as bad as I had thought... I see what you mean. I'm still not in love with it on paper, but we all know that with the right music a poorly written song can sound good... and this isn't poorly written... thanks for the crits on my songs by the way, I don't have anything else finished right now, and I can't post another until next week anyways, so you don't have to worry about it at all... what kind of song do you think this'll be anyways, punk?


no problem. i tend to play a kind of weird blend of punk and other more indie stuff. this ones very much a fast punk song but the chorus will probably have a pseudo-dance bassline to accentuate the sarcasm of the lyrics.
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
#6
I personally really do like the lyrics to the chorus. It makes it have a very catchy feel to it, and I can see people loving the song even if they have no idea what it means. The verses are both very good and the choruses pull the song together. Personally, I think you should add a verse (or bridge) of no lyrics and repeat the chorus just to make it even MORE danceable, because that'll make it get stuck in people's heads even more.

The rant was good too, but remember that a rant (or anything that creates a dissonance) in an album can either be good or bad. A few extra seconds in a song can make or break the song, so be very careful when deciding whether or not to include the rant in the final product.
#7
It sounded like the Ramones
I didn't know if the dialogue at the end is part of it
It seemed short and to the point
It fit it well
#8
I personally really do like the lyrics to the chorus. It makes it have a very catchy feel to it, and I can see people loving the song even if they have no idea what it means. The verses are both very good and the choruses pull the song together. Personally, I think you should add a verse (or bridge) of no lyrics and repeat the chorus just to make it even MORE danceable, because that'll make it get stuck in people's heads even more.

The rant was good too, but remember that a rant (or anything that creates a dissonance) in an album can either be good or bad. A few extra seconds in a song can make or break the song, so be very careful when deciding whether or not to include the rant in the final product.


It sounded like the Ramones
I didn't know if the dialogue at the end is part of it
It seemed short and to the point
It fit it well


thanks fellas. do either of you have a piece that you want me to critique?
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
#9
Sure, you could crit my first (and latest) piece titled Obscure Development (which shouldn't be too hard to find). Thank if you do decide to crit it.

I too think it sounded quite good to a Ramones type song. It is short and to the point which is good, and it'll be nice to hear something that sounds similar to the Ramones, especially if it turns out good (because we are lacking in 'good' music today I believe).
#10
wow... dont stop there... it sounds to me like your trying to tell people that safe, dont have to be censored bands are way too overrated (f*cking right man!) im totally with you. But advertising always does the trick... would people really love Pepsi if they didnt see the same blue red and white figure a million times everytime they turned on the t.v. Dont just stop with the wanna be cool bands that secretly are gay and touch each other at night, talk about everything man, i have yet to see a song with that type of thinking, you got the mind coming... rock the world.


peace.brock.
yeah, wtf is a signature?

Member of the 'Guitarists Born In 1991' club
#12
wow... dont stop there... it sounds to me like your trying to tell people that safe, dont have to be censored bands are way too overrated (f*cking right man!) im totally with you. But advertising always does the trick... would people really love Pepsi if they didnt see the same blue red and white figure a million times everytime they turned on the t.v. Dont just stop with the wanna be cool bands that secretly are gay and touch each other at night, talk about everything man, i have yet to see a song with that type of thinking, you got the mind coming... rock the world.


peace.brock.
__________________


its not so much that i hate bands that dont need to be censored but rather that i hate bands willing to be censored. i hate that sort of compromise. thanks for the crit.

It definitely sounds like Plastic Surgery Disasters/Frankenchrist-era Dead Kennedys.
Good job.


its funny how those things happen; i wasnt even aiming for that but its awesome to be seen in the same light as one of my favorite bands of all time. thanks.

do either of you need a crit?
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.