#1
Well baby it started along time ago
When I first saw you
My heart said to follow
But my brain said no

Thats because you weren't single
I should have seen all the signals
But I let that go by
And left you on my mind

Well then one day I heard whay happened
That you got rid of him
So, I thought I'd after you
But my brain still said no

You were alone
I wanted you to be with someone
I wished it was me
I just couldn't tell you

(Chorus)
So you started going with anyone
Going through them like sox
I wanted to tell you I was the one
But thought you'd think of me as a rnobody
I had a broken heart and dream

Then one day everything changed
And I wouldn't see you everyday
Just hoping that you would relieze
How much you mean to me

Chorus

So now I say goodbye
With all hope lost
And with a broken heart and dreams
Last edited by Quik Axe Player at Jul 22, 2006,
#5
i used to feel exactly the same.... i have a song similar to this one that i'll put on next week....well, its not as good as this on bcuz i wrote it a loooong time agao.....but anyway.....its all great except the part in the chorus taht ends with "Rock" something tells me taht was just the results of writers block? lol.....
peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#6
I liked the way it was going but when i read "think of me as a rock", i didn't like it. It seemed a little forced.
©Ibanez4
#10
I think the Chorus doesn't flow... dunno there are just strange lines in it like the last two lines, they suck... sorry but it doesnt really fit
But I liked the repetition thing with the heart saying 'yes and the brain saying'no'
It pointed the situation of the boy real good out I think.
#12
Been there, done that... It hurts. Only I was with the girl first then she broke up with me and four days later, got back with her ex boyfriend after telling me she couldn't handle a relationship. Anyway, I liked the piece. It was well written and presented very nicely. Keep it up! Check out "A Cheap Shot and A Drink For Old Times". I need more feedback.
REVENGE
#13
Quote by Quik Axe Player
So now I say goodbye
With all hope lost
And with a broken heart and dreams



I really love it, especially this part because I can relate so much. The lyrics are simple, and I like that in songs. It shows that songs can still be meaningful without fancy, complicated lyrics.
Do I have to fall asleep
with roses in my hand?
#14
Well all in all its a good song...Hmmm.....maybe if you added another verse but it sounds good anyway..but maybe another verse....
#15
I think it was good, but like all songs, it will need some work. Some of it sounds a bit forced, and I would advise you to rework the chorus so it flows more.
#16
I know what you mean, and can tell what you are going for, but this is not appealing as a song.
There is nothing really that thought provoking, and it does not have any interesting lyrics, and there is nothing catchy about it. Plus, it is just kind of a bad story for a song, it just makes you look like a loser who was too much of a wuss to talk to a girl.

If everyone else disagrees with me, then just keep on doing what you want, I'm only one person.
#17
yeah like somepeople said some parts seems forced and one thing that got to me, the part whre you said "But my brain still said no" IDK something about the word brain I would change that to "mind" because IDK why but certain words get to me