#1
hey guys, i wrote this song as a gift for my girlfriend, i'll be showing her it today, but before i do, just wanted to get some feedback from song fellow songwriters.

Its not the greatest song ever written, but its from the heart.

Thanks.

Verse 1.

I spend my time,
Just thinking of you,
I'd spend every dime,
Quite happily, For you,
I hate it when you hurt,
I hate it when you cry,
I'd rather be dead and burnt,
I'd rather be deaf and blind.

Chorus.

I love you to the core,
Each day more and more,
Seperation kills me,
But i know, that,
When i see you,
We'll always be,
Creating Memories.

Verse 2.

When i see you smile,
The pain seems worth the while.
When i see you cry,
I just want to die.
I hate it when you hurt,
I hate it when you cry,
I'd rather be dead and burnt,
I'd rather be deaf and blind.

Chorus.


I love you to the core,
Each day more and more,
Seperation kills me,
But i know, that,
When i see you,
We'll always be,
Creating Memories.

Bridge.

Memories are made,
Memories are missed.
The memories are ours,
Forever more, beyond powers,
They'll never leave us.

Chorus.

I love you to the core,
Each day more and more,
Seperation kills me,
But i know, that,
When i see you,
We'll always be,
Creating Memories.
#2
i really like this one...it has a lot of emotion and feel to it....i hope your gf likes it....oh yeah, and you might wanna change the "d rather be dead and burnt," part bcuz it sounds kinda gory and chicks uassully dont dig that....
peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#4
Yeeup. 86 the burnt line. Everything else is just fine.
©Ibanez4
#5
i like it. shows some real emotion. very touchy. again i like it a lot.

mind criting mine? links in sig. "beauty fades"
Whatever it is you do, DO NOT CLICK HERE! ! it will bring the end of the world upon us all!!!! I swear you click it, and you will end o.O
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