this is one of the first songs i ever wrote - hope to get some feedback from anyone - hope you like it

the stoner song (light me up):

Hey I've got a great idea
And it won't take very long
If we play our cards just right
We won't remember this song

We'll drink ourselves stupid
And get ourselves stoned
As long as you've got the right stuff
You'll never be alone

What's the ****in' difference
If we're all gonna die
You've gotta take a hit of this
To make yourself alive

I've got a couple hours
Yeah, I've got all day
But it'll cost a couple bucks
If that's the way you want to play

Just light me up
'Cause I can't say "no"
Yeah just light me up
Let it burn real slow X2

I'm in quite a daze
I've found my perfect peace
A nirvana in my head
I'm just aching to release

If you can feel the rush
Well then I can feel it too
So just light another bowl
And we'll push right on through

Light me up
I can almost touch the sky
I can't even remember
The last time I was this high

The room is getting hazy
The lights are getting low
Shapes and colors blur together
The music's soft and slow

Some people call me a loser
But I'm just a regular man
I smoke a little pot
While playing guitar in a van

Just light me up
'Cause I can't say "no"
Yeah just light me up
Let it burn real slow X2

you can e-mail comments to me at soldierwithwings09@yahoo.com if you want
Last edited by soldierw/wings at Jul 22, 2006,
Haha, that was pretty trippy, I liked it a lot, and I don't even do drugs.

Could you crit one of my raps, their in my sig. Thanks!
haha lmao. man thats awsoem love it.
Whatever it is you do, DO NOT CLICK HERE! ! it will bring the end of the world upon us all!!!! I swear you click it, and you will end o.O
when you perform or record this, after you've finished singing just say 'I said no to drugs, but they didn't listen!"

great song
I gave rock n' roll to you

That was awesome. Never done drugs before but if it makes u write this good, I think i'll give it a try.lol Seriously it was good.
haha... this is a crazy song man. I like it a lot... knowing a lot of kids that are on drugs (i personally am not) this is a pretty true song actually. Very funny though, enjoyable to read. What kind of music is this set to? Love to hear it.. If you have a band, or are planning on forming a band, I bet this would be a fan fav... good job
in the process of forming a band (eventually . . .)
thinking of putting the song to a sorta slow blues-rock type style
inspired by Queens of the Stone Age "You Got A Killer Scene There Man" (and a little bit of illegal inspiration if ya know what i mean- he he he)
"If we play our cards just right
We won't remember this song"

haha...****in classic!!!

it sounds liek a rap song tho...
crit my rhymes?:

Lets Get Drunk and Fuck.

Subtle Arrogance

Do you realize, that i can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans?

Quote by Shaepwnsyou
They're very religious, so they have butt sex to save their virginity.
haha crazy song... even though i'm straight edge haha
i'm one of those people that roll their terds into balls and eat crayons... can you find me a home?
awsome, even though i oppose drugs now, but ya, i know whst your talking about considereing who i used to be.
Even though I'm as staright as an arrow, I thought this song was awesome. I might have to try drugs because of it. Just kidding, but seriously, this song rocked.
I didnt like it at all. Keeping a song simple whilst portraying an image or a theme that people can relate to can be a very difficult style to write in, writing a song that lacks depth is an all too easy style of writing. You seemed to favour the latter. Its just too childish and amateurish.
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
I liked it actually. Though I agree it was somewhat childish/14 year old drama related. But hey I think it could possibly be something like a comical bonus track or you could take a Tenacious D direction with it:-P. I really enjoyed reading it 4.5/5