#1
I hope you like it, please crit, because I know there's bits that need changing, but I don't know where. Help if you can!

Thanks.

Talkin' Texas Prison Blues

There?s a story why I?m here, and it?s not a pretty one,
it?s about fighting over a girl, an? about fighting with a gun.
It happened down in Texas, in a bar noone knows,
and if you want I?ll tell my story, this is how it goes.

I met her in a bar, cloudy as the fog,
and it wasn?t too long ?til I thought I was in love.
Sometimes love can be misleading, an? it can break your heart.
And if I?d known the truth, I would never had start.

She had a man in Denver working for the law,
but when I asked her if she was married, she said, ?not no more?,
and I guess it?s my fault, ?spose I shouldn?t have assumed,
but my appetite for love is huge and she was gonna be consumed.

It was late one evening when we?re riding in my car,
a little over the speed, and drinking from the jar.
Two blue flashing lights, and a siren wailing loud,
thought I?s gonna get busted, but it?s worse than that now.

The officer pulled me from my car and threw me to the floor,
he shot my motor full of holes, and said, ?Don?t you call her no more?.
When the two of them drove off, I climbed up from the dirt,
I knew it wasn?t love, and only my pride had been hurt.

So now I?m sitting in a bar, it?s cloudy as the fog,
I?m looking for a girl, looking for love in this smog.
But I only see trouble, and it?s staring back at me,
and when I go to her, I see that it?s she.

Now the wisest thing to do, would be to drink up and leave,
but I?m not wise or clever, I?m pretty naïve.
So I took her by the arm, and I led her to the door,
what happened next is a little hazy, so I?m not sure.

But I felt a bottle across my head, and I fell to the floor,
that whiny officer stood there, ?I said I ain?t called her, for sure!?
He kicked me round the bar, in the whisky, spit and glass,
he went for his gun, but I was just as fast.

Both guns pointed at each other, what could I do?
So I blew him away, and now I?m here with you.
Counting my days gone by, in an orange suit,
wish I?d learnt to run, after I shoot.

But I guess you can?t blame him for being a jealous guy,
and is jealousy really enough to make him deserve to die.
But that bottle really stung, and now so did my pride,
and it was him or me, and that?s why he died.

So please don?t judge me too harsh, don?t be cruel,
in my own situation, what was I to do?
I was blinded by love, fuelled by beer,
I shot that lawman dead, and that is why I?m here.
#2
...holy crap man...I salute you!!!!

That is incredible...how long did it take you to write that...its ****ing awesome!!! Are you actually going to put that to a song? What sort of blues will you play with it??

Awesome work!

My gear:

Fender Highway One Stratocaster
Vox AD30VT
Vox Wah
Boss BD-2 Blues Driver
Boss CS-3 Compression Sustainer

Coming soon:
Boss DS-2 Turbo Distortion
Chorus pedal of some sort (PM me for recomendations)
#3
that took you a while didnt it? it shows. really good if done over a country-folk tune. 9/10.
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
#4
Erm... I didn't expect such an enthusiastic response... wow... It's not really going to be too bluesy, maybe that's betraying the title a little, but Dylan got away with it and remained brilliant... It's a simple ADEA progression throughout.

On another note, I have to say I LOVE your signature... I hate James Blunt with a burning passion... if I chose a car to have a fatal crash it would have to contain James Blunt and Christiano Ronaldo on their way to a dickhead convention...

Anyway, back to the song, it took me about two hours to write properly, but even when I play it, I'm still changing the odd word here and there as I go. Any changes you can think of?
#5
Quote by wingedgopher
that took you a while didnt it? it shows. really good if done over a country-folk tune. 9/10.


Not too long to write, a couple of hours. I'm trying to put a Johnny Cash feel to it.
#6
Quote by Rubin Remus
Not too long to write, a couple of hours. I'm trying to put a Johnny Cash feel to it.


that would work
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
You're a bald gopher with wings that lives in the countryside, working on a farm.


Quote by Bubban
Having sex in a pool full of jello? How strangely erotic. No, not just any sex, butts-*gets shot*

God bless the underdog and God bless the antihero.
#7
Yeah a few simple chords always work. Its good but i cant really think of any changes to make but just mabey swap a few words around here and there, whatever suits the song best. But yeah...good stuff...reminds me of Tin Pan Alley by stevie ray vaughan. Only cause it seems bluesy and theres crazy **** happening though lol
My gear:

Fender Highway One Stratocaster
Vox AD30VT
Vox Wah
Boss BD-2 Blues Driver
Boss CS-3 Compression Sustainer

Coming soon:
Boss DS-2 Turbo Distortion
Chorus pedal of some sort (PM me for recomendations)
#8
I don't know that song, I'll have to check it out. I'm glad you guys like this one, it gives me more confidence to play it. Thanks alot for you help.